360: What If Humility Is Making You Invisible

Most mid-career professionals are not struggling because they lack skill, experience, or dedication. They are struggling because the value they bring is not always clear to the people making decisions about promotions, job offers, and leadership opportunities.

In this episode, I’m talking about one subtle language habit that may be keeping you from being recognized at work: always saying “we” when it is time to say “I.”

If you are a big-hearted, people-first leader, you may have trained yourself to give credit to the team in every update, performance review, networking conversation, and job interview. That humility can build trust, but it can also make your individual leadership hard to see.

There is a difference between bragging and self-advocacy. Bragging makes the story only about you. Self-advocacy helps others understand the value of your leadership, your decisions, your influence, and the measurable results you helped create.

At mid-career, doing good work is no longer enough. You need to be able to clearly communicate your impact.

I’ll walk you through how the “invisibility test” shows up in everyday career conversations, including one-on-ones, performance appraisals, job interviews, and networking conversations. I’ll also share a personal story from my earlier podcast and how feedback helped me realize I was hiding behind the group instead of getting clearer about my message and leadership.

You’ll learn how to honor your team while still owning what happened under your leadership. You’ll also hear how to create a stronger unique professional value statement that begins with “I help” so you can clarify your value on LinkedIn, in interviews, and in conversations with decision makers.

In a competitive job market where hiring decisions feel slower but disqualification happens faster, your ability to articulate your personal impact matters. Leaders and interviewers need to quickly understand what you do, why it matters, and how your leadership creates results.

In This Episode, you'll learn:

• Why always saying “we” may be hurting your visibility at mid-career
• The difference between bragging and self-advocacy
• How to credit your team while still owning your leadership
• Why your impact needs to be clear before promotion decisions are made
• How the invisibility test shows up in one-on-ones and performance reviews
• What my earlier podcast taught me about hiding behind group language
• How to use an “I help” statement to clarify your professional value
• Why job seekers must communicate measurable results quickly in today’s hiring market

Why This Matters for Your Career

If you are feeling overlooked, passed over, or undervalued at work, the problem may not be your performance. It may be how you are telling the story of your performance.

Mid-career professionals often assume their work will speak for itself. But your leaders, stakeholders, and interviewers are busy. They may not always see the strategy, effort, and leadership behind your results unless you make it clear.

This does not mean taking credit away from your team. It means learning how to say:

“I led the process.”
“I influenced the decision.”
“I helped the team move from confusion to clarity.”
“I created the structure that helped us achieve the result.”
“I helped solve the problem by doing this specific thing.”

That kind of language helps others understand your leadership brand and the value you bring.

Career Strategy to Try This Week

This week, look at one career conversation where you usually say “we.” It could be a one-on-one, performance update, LinkedIn profile section, resume bullet, networking introduction, or interview answer.

Ask yourself:

• Where is “we” accurate?
• Where do I need to say “I”?
• What result happened because of my leadership?
• What decision, action, or influence did I personally contribute?
• How can I communicate that impact with clarity and integrity?

Then practice building your unique professional value statement using this structure:

“I help [audience or organization] achieve [specific result] by [your leadership strength, skill, or approach].”

The clearer you are about your value, the easier it becomes for others to understand why you are ready for the next opportunity.

Listen to This Episode If You Are:

• A mid-career professional who feels overlooked at work
• A manager or leader who struggles to talk about your accomplishments
• A job seeker preparing for interviews in a competitive market
• A high performer who wants to be seen as promotion-ready
• A people-first leader who wants to self-advocate without sounding arrogant
• Someone who wants more clarity around your leadership brand and career story

Final Thought

You can be humble and still be clear.

You can honor the team and still name your leadership.

You can be generous with credit and still make sure decision makers understand your impact.

At this stage of your career, self-advocacy is not optional. It is part of how you lead, grow, and position yourself for the opportunities you want next.

Listen to the full episode and start paying attention to where “we” is helping your leadership story and where “I” may be required.

Transcript

Welcome And The Real Focus

John Neral 0:03

Hello, my friends, and welcome to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. I'm your host, John Merrill. This is the show for mid-career professionals who feel stuck, undervalued, or unsure what's next, and know that doing more isn't the answer. Here, we focus on how you show up. That means how you make clear decisions, build influence, and take control of your career. Let's get started. Hey there, I hope you're doing well today. This week, I am gonna keep this episode particularly short. And here's why.

The Invisibility Test Follow-Up

John Neral 0:43

Last week, episode 359, I talked with you about the invisibility test, the invisibility test that leaders are quietly running in the background to determine whether or not you are ready to be promoted. And there was one thing I want to go back to in that episode to just drive this point home even stronger. And it's this at mid-career, and I'm talking specifically to you, the people who listen to this episode, you follow me on LinkedIn, you might follow me on Instagram, you subscribe to my newsletter, because you all share a certain characteristic, and that is this you are big-hearted, people-centric leaders and professionals. And you love talking and about and using the word we did this, we achieved this result. We did this kickoff meeting. And what I want you to consider here is that while that is part of your wiring, it is in your nature and your makeup to be inclusive and make sure that everyone is being recognized and you believe that makes you a good leader. And I want to acknowledge it does, but it's hurting you when it's coming to advocating for your advancement. In last week's episode, episode 359, we talked about the difference between bragging about yourself and advocating for yourself. And the point that I don't feel like I strongly drove home enough last week, and which is why I'm piggybacking on this episode here for this week with you.

When “We” Hurts Your Advancement

John Neral 2:49

Think about when you are using the word we and when you are using the word I. This week, just start making a mental note of where you're saying we and really question whether or not that is the right word to be using. You have an opportunity here to change your narrative, to change your wording, and to do it in a way that still acknowledges your team, your department, your business unit, your project? There is still a way to honor and acknowledge all the incredible work that they're doing, but also finding a way to highlight how that's all being done under your leadership. Does this sound like you? Does this sound like you are that big-hearted leader who wants to make sure everybody's getting recognized and you're thinking, well, if I do all that, they're gonna recognize me as an outstanding leader. I've been doing this podcast for six years. Okay, this is episode 360.

The Podcast Pivot That Changed Visibility

John Neral 4:08

I love that you're here every week. I love that new people are continuing to come in. But what many of you don't know is that I had a podcast before this. So during the pandemic in 2020, I had a podcast. It was called Show Up 2020. And the idea behind the podcast was to highlight ordinary people doing extraordinary things during the pandemic. I look back on some of those interviews and I appreciate the conversations we had. But when I surveyed people, when I asked them about the podcast, the biggest piece of feedback that I got back was this. John, it's great that we get to hear from all these people, but we'd like to hear a little more from you. One person said to me, You're a good interviewer. Why aren't you doing more solo episodes? And I thought, that hadn't even crossed my mind. But I will tell you, when I shifted my format, when I launched this new podcast in 2021 and called it the Mid Career GPS, and started doing some solo episodes and some interviews and things, my visibility changed. My business changed. And I am far more selective today, six years in, and understandably so, with the guests whom I bring on to the podcast to share a particular insight, a strategy, a background, an event, something that they can offer that I truly believe will help you as the mid-career leader in professional. But I had to make that shift from this being a we thing in terms of how I was having guests on the show to an I thing. It was no longer we talk about doing extraordinary things during the pandemic to I help mid-career professionals who feel stuck, undervalued, or unsure what's next and know that doing more isn't the answer. I help you show up. That means how you make clear decisions, build influence, and take control of your career. When I'm working with clients privately

Build Your “I Help” Value Statement

John Neral 6:46

or we're working inside of the show up leadership lab, we work on something called a unique professional value statement. And it starts out with, I help. We identify who it is that you help. And then what do you help them do specifically? So whether you're answering the tell me about yourself question in an interview, you're changing your LinkedIn headline, you're at a networking event, you are able to advocate for yourself because you begin that statement with two very simple yet powerful words. I help. When you're having your one-on-one meeting or you're having your performance appraisal meeting, be very mindful about whether or not you are talking about in the singular or in the plural. Again, make a note of when you are speaking, saying I versus we. This is a chance for you to own your results under your leadership. I led the team to do this. I initiated this. I am responsible for this. When you change the language, when you change the tone of what it is you're communicating, and you truly own and believe your results under your leadership, your direction, your management, you are advocating for yourself at a completely different level.

Interviews Favor Clear Personal Impact

John Neral 8:31

When I've interviewed talent across organizations, I have I have redirected questions in an interview to say to the candidate, thank you for talking about what the team did. I want to know what you did. What was your result, your impact, your contribution? Tell me about you because I'm interviewing you and not your team. Right now, we know companies are taking longer to make hiring decisions, but at the same time, they are disqualifying people quicker. That means if if there is a doubt, a reservation, or a hesitation about hiring you, you will not move forward. It's a subtle difference in how we use our language, I versus we, that can make a huge difference in how you are advocating for yourself inside of your organization, at your next job interview, at your next networking meeting, at your next promotion conversation.

Weekly Challenge Plus Next Steps

John Neral 9:45

So this week, I want you to really focus on when are you saying we, when are you saying I, and is the context of you using those words appropriate? Is that increasing your visibility in an authentic, genuine, respectful, and professional way for you to increase your visibility to be considered by your leadership? That now is not only the right time to consider you for promotion, but also they're confident in recommending you. Okay. Hope you have a great rest of the week. I hope you're enjoying whatever last bit of summer you have left, depending on where you are in the country and the world, and having kids going back to school and all those kind of things. Make the most of this time, make memories, and until next time, my friends, remember this. You will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time. And how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day. If you enjoyed this episode, don't keep it to yourself. Kindly share it with someone who needs it. And if you're tired of feeling stuck, overlooked, or underutilized in your career, go to my website, johnnarrell.com to get started. There you'll find free resources, ways to work with me, and details about the Show Up Leadership Lab, my signature membership for mid-career professionals who want to lead better, get noticed, and elevate their career. All the links are in the show notes. You can grab what you need right there. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. And if you're getting value from the show, take 30 seconds to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Remember, how you show up matters, and I'll see you next time.