317: Running on Empty: How to Lead, Work, and Live with More Clarity and Calm

Feeling stretched thin by nonstop news and workplace pressure. In this episode, executive and career coach John Neral helps mid-career professionals regain momentum with presence, pace, and practical wins. Learn how to prevent burnout, ask leadership for targeted support, and use small controllables to improve performance. We also cover a data-driven approach to job search and interviews, plus a simple Mid-Career GPS to turn chaos into clarity. Ideal for managers, team leads, and job seekers pursuing career clarity and promotion in a challenging market.

Who this is for:
Mid-career professionals ages 35 to 55 who want practical strategies to manage stress, stay effective at work, and make measurable progress in a challenging job market.

What you’ll learn

• How to pause and assess when current events and shutdown stress weigh on your energy and focus
• Why presence and pace improve decisions on the road, in meetings, and during interviews
• The manager’s responsibility to check in and support people, and how to ask leadership directly for the help you need
• How polarization creeps into daily interactions and how to defuse it at work
• The value of “taking a knee” to rest and reset without guilt
• Small controllables that compound: food journaling for awareness, quality sleep as performance gear, and 15-minute movement breaks to reset your brain
• A smarter, data-driven approach to mid-career job search: networking goals, interview preparation, and weekly traction metrics
• DSD: Do Something Different to get different results, even when you feel stuck
• How to build your Mid-Career GPS so you navigate chaos with clarity and intention

Practical takeaways

• Start each day with a two-minute check-in: energy, focus, and one priority
• Define three controllables for the week: nutrition awareness, sleep window, and one movement break per work block
• Set a weekly networking target with names, messages sent, and outcomes tracked
• For interviews, script two results-first stories and practice concise delivery
• Managers: schedule a 10-minute pulse check with each direct report and ask, “What support would be m

Chapters

• 0:00 Opening Check‑In And Context
• 2:33 The “I’ve Had It” Rant
• 4:15 Road Rage, Pace, And Presence
• 4:50 Leaders, Do The Human Work
• 7:06 Shutdown Stress And Family Check‑Ins
• 11:12 Polarization, Leadership Frustrations
• 13:33 Taking A Knee And Reset
• 14:39 The One Thing: Small Controls
• 18:20 Coaching, Momentum, And Job Search
• 21:07 Strategy Session Offer And Details
• 23:12 Closing Reminders And CTAs

Transcript

John Neral: 0:00

Over the last several weeks, I've been checking in with my private clients and network and asking them this question. How are you doing with everything going on in the world? And often what follows is a big breath and a long pause. If you haven't been asked this question, I want you to do yourself a favor and just pause this episode for a few moments and think about your answer. We are all dealing with a lot, and it is impacting how we work and how we live. And if you are a federal employee who is directly impacted by the current government shutdown, I see you. It is not an easy time for you and your loved ones because I know you want to be at work and there are other circumstances at play. So in this episode, I want to open up some space. And the one thing I'm doing right now that's helping just a little bit. Let's get started. I help mid-career professionals like you find a career they love or love the one they have using my proven four-step formula. So, as a podcast host, I am often listening to other podcasts to see what they're doing and what they're saying and how they're producing their episodes and things. And I recently stumbled upon a podcast called I've Had It. Now, the hosts are Jennifer Welch and Angie Pumps Sullivan. And yes, it is a political podcast, and it often delves into things far more than the political realm of things. But the whole premise is that they start off this episode with a few things that each of them have had it with and they hear from their listeners as well. So, in the spirit of this, here are a few things I've had it with lately. I have had it with people who do not make a full stop at stop signs or red lights. I live outside the Washington, D.C. area. I cannot tell you how many times I see people blowing through stop signs or blowing through red lights, or they come down to this rolling stop and they have no idea who else is coming. And it is an accident waiting to happen. I have had it with people who are not self-aware of anyone else around them. And by that I mean they are interrupting conversations. They are not aware of the personal space they are taking up or infringing on somebody else's. And it drives me nuts. Everybody is in such a damn rush right now. I was, I was in the car with my husband last week, and I was, I was coming up through an intersection and the light was green. But where the left-hand turn lane was and the right hand lane was, I wasn't sure if in the middle lane I had enough space to comfortably go through so I had slowed down. This person behind me wailed on their horn, scared the living daylights out of me. And admittedly, I said a few things in the car I probably shouldn't have, but it was in that fit of anger and frustration in like that, what the hell is your problem moment? And I thought, well, they just don't see what's in front of me. They're only seeing what's in front of them, and I'm blocking their way to getting somewhere else. So, y'all, I just need y'all to slow down. Slow down. Okay. Watch out for the bicyclists and the motorcyclists on the road along with it and everything. Slow the heck down. I have had it with managers and leaders who are not taking the time to check in with their teams right now because they are quote unquote too busy, or they are quote unquote, don't feel it's important, or quote unquote, they have other things to do. If you are leading an organization, a department, a team, or you are directly responsible for leading talent within your organization and you are not giving them time to check in and simply say, How are you doing? How are things going with your work? Where do you need my support? If you are not doing those things, that is an opportunity for you to step back and take a pulse check and really evaluate how well you are serving your team right now. I know people right now who through various reorganizations are getting a lot more people put onto their caseload. And that's troublesome because they're they're thinking about capacity and how they're going to be able to do it. If you are in a people leadership role, the most important thing you need to be paying attention to is how are your people driving toward the mission, goal, and purpose of that organization. And if you quote unquote don't have time for them, make time. Because right now, people need you. People need you to be checking in. And for those of you big-hearted leaders who are out there and you're taking care of your team and you are sitting here listening to this and going, but my management doesn't do this for me, or I'm not getting what I need from my leadership, then what I want to offer you is that this is an opportunity for you to ask for exactly what it is that you need and see if they are capable of actually giving it to you. It may not be in the way you ideally desire it or want it, but this is an opportunity for you to check in. If your boss says to you, hey, I'd love to check in, I'm just really busy. I know you're doing a great job. Great. You know what? You and I both have to eat. Let's go to lunch. There are ways to get around it. But it is more important than ever for you to check in with the people you are working with, just as much as it is so important right now for you to check in with your family and friends. So here in the DMV, um, understandably, I know a lot of people who are federal employees, and some are impacted by the shutdown and some are not because their agency is appropriated outside of the federal budget. That being said, this is the opportunity to check in with your family and friends to be like, okay, how are you doing? I know you want to be at work and you can't right now. This isn't a vacation. What are you doing with your time? How can I help you? And if you work for a company that contracts with a lot of federal agencies, you may be impacted as well. And your family and friends may not be fully aware of how much you are being impacted either. And however long this shutdown goes, so for a point of reference, today is October 5th. This episode is going to drop on October 7th. Everything I have checked the news beforehand doesn't seem likely we're going to reopen the government by the time this episode drops. So, that being said, think about what their work is going to look like when they get back. Can you imagine if you had to take a week off, let alone more than that, from your work? And then all of a sudden you just come back to work, you would have a lot of catch-up to do. So let's just acknowledge there is a lot of stress on those government civil service professionals who are trying to get their job done, but they can't because the government is shut down. And then if they're living paycheck to paycheck, they're worried about how they're going to meet their bills. So we're dealing with a lot. We are juggling with a lot. How are you taking care of your family? How are you taking care of your small children, your preteens, your teenagers, your college students, you know, your children who are of college age, or the ones who are getting ready to graduate and they are stressed out if they are going to be able to find a job come mid-2026, given everything they're hearing and seeing within the jobs report right now? That's stressful. If your parents are still with you, how is their health? How much are you taking care of them? If you've recently lost a loved one, how are you honoring your grief? How are you honoring your pain in all of this? While at the same time going to work and making like everything is okay and everything's fine and everything's wonderful. Because at mid-career, when we talk about building this mid-career GPS, the reality is you handle a lot. And you handle a lot that many people don't see because you keep it very close. And you're afraid to expose and show that for fear someone might think less of you or judge you or question how able you are to do your job. Instead of checking in to simply say, How are you doing right now? How can I help you? What do you need? It may be very hard to be happy in a time like this, especially as we head into the holidays. So if that's you, um, I just simply offer that you consult your medical team or a medical professional if you feel the need. We're dealing with a lot. And one of the things that struck me this week was uh some comments that I heard by Nafisa Collier from the WNBA who blasted WNBA leadership. And what struck me about that was how quickly we are all willing to go and attack a leadership. And trust me, in a lot of cases, this is warranted. All right. It is warranted to say to leadership, do better. You are not doing a good enough job. You need to be more transparent, be more communicative, be more empathetic, be more about sharing knowledge. But when you think about your work leadership, here's what I want you to do. First of all, think about your immediate manager or supervisor. What's your relationship like with them? What's your relationship like with that person above them and the person above them? Are you happy with the work that they're doing? Are you frustrated with the work that you're doing? What's in your control to actually impact the way they are leading? I keep saying I need to do an episode at some point about why everyone every now and then gets a shitty boss. And and in that, there are still ways for you to manage the relationship. But if you're having difficulty with leadership, the first step is to question why. What is it that I'm feeling resentful about? What is it that I'm angry or frustrated about with my leadership? And is there an opportunity to impact change within that leadership? Right now, we are so polarized, and I am not talking just about politics. We are so polarized in I'm right, you're wrong. I I see it when I'm driving. I'm right, you're wrong. Because I don't want anybody hitting me. Given the polarization that we are feeling, it is understandable that it's trickling over into other aspects of our life and how we live and how we work. Last week, I coined a phrase from a dear, dear friend of mine. I was like, I had to take a knee. I took a knee on Friday. I wasn't feeling good. I stayed in bed the entire day. I was feeling blah. I was fighting some kind of stomach bug or whatever it was. And and I gotta tell you, I had the TV on in the background and I caught a little bit of prices right around 11 o'clock. And because that's the thing you do when you're sick, right? You got to watch the prices right. And um, and by the way, just here's what else I've had it with. Stop bidding a dollar when you're the first person in contestants row or bidder's row, just because you want to have your moment and be like one dollar drew. No, stop it. You bid a dollar strategically when you're the last person to bid so you can get up on stage or you bid the dollar over. If you're doing it, if you're the first person to do it in contestants row, when you're on the prices right, you're a moron. That's it. I stand by that. Okay, anyway. Think about we are see, we're polarized. I'm very polarized on this topic. And those of you who are game show friends of mine, you get this and you understand it. Okay. But I had to take a knee. I needed it. I needed to simply take a step back and recharge my battery. Okay. So I said at the top, there was one thing that I'm doing that is helping a little bit. And it stems from a conversation I had with my coach recently. And I was talking about how frustrated and stressed I get over certain things right now. Um, because there is, there's just a lot going on, right? And what he said to me was he's like, oftentimes when we think about instituting change, we think about this big change. But it is the small things that help us gain momentum. It is traction we find in the small things that we do that we get to reinforce and not getting ourselves wound up over all of the things we have no control over. But that if I could take a step back and focus on what I have control over, I would start gaining momentum. So here's here's a few things I'm doing. So one of the things I started doing was I went back to journaling my food. And even though I don't like doing it, I don't like having to record what I measure and everything like that. It's an accountability piece for me in terms of knowing, okay, here's what I'm I'm taking in every day. All right. So that's that's one little thing that I know I have control over. I still, you know, pretty much eat what I want, but I just keep a record of it. Okay. That's one. The second thing I'm doing is doing a better job of trying to get more quality sleep. And I know when I'm stressed or wound up on things that I don't sleep particularly well. And that's what happened this past week. I had a couple of nights this past week where I got maybe about three or four hours sleep. And it's just really hard for me to function really, really well the next day. Like I'm I'm good for a while and then kind of flame out the end of the day. So it's about getting better sleep. It's about recognizing that when I'm here at this desk and I'm here behind this mic and I'm having my meetings and I'm having my conversations, that taking 15 minutes to get up and stretch or do something or go for a walk or or just even go up and down the stairs in my house, something that I'm not anchored to this desk and feeling like my butt is turning into cottage cheese. I'm sorry. But that's just that's just the reality of it, right? Like I feel like sometimes I get stuck behind this desk and I'm turning into mush. And I'm like, no, I have to take better care of myself. So it's these little things that I get to do. And I want to emphasize that with you. It's that I get to do. I don't have to do any of these things. I get to do them. I get to do them to see if that's building the traction, the momentum that I need and I want to help me be better balanced and deal with all of the things that at times feel very heavy right now. I'm coming up on two years where my retina detached out of nowhere. And it was a very, very scary time for me, health-wise. Thankfully, um the doctors were wonderful. Everything's, everything is good. But this is that reminder for me that running myself into the ground and getting stressed out over things that I have no control over, even though I am wired in a certain way, is not ultimately healthy for me. So if you're feeling something similar, right? If you're feeling like, look, I need to find that balance. And as much as I focus on leadership and career coaching with my clients, I will tell you that there are times in the coaching relationship that stuff like this comes up. And when it comes up, it is not about what works for me. It is about how I can help my clients figure out what works best for them or what they're curious about or willing to try, that they can then in turn get the momentum that they want. Look, my friends, if you've been looking for a job over the past several months, more than likely you are frustrated and fried that you are not getting the results you want. We can manage that. We can manage that differently and more strategically with a mid-career GPS. How would it feel like for you if you looked at your week's worth of efforts in terms of where you applied and where you networked and felt better about that kind of traction and momentum you were getting than randomly sending out resumes like you may be doing now? We work on how we prepare ourselves for interviews before, during, and after. So that interview experience gives you better data for you to personally evaluate how well it went rather than getting caught up in all of the mind drama about whether or not you're going to get the offer. Yes, that's important. But again, this comes back to the things that you have control over. As one of the people I follow, Amy Porterfield, she talks about DSD, do something different. If you are frustrated that you are not getting the results you want, this is an opportunity for you to do something different. And that might be something as simple as booking a strategy session with me. In a career and leadership strategy session, you and I are gonna sit down for 45 minutes. I am gonna take everything that you're doing and dissect it. And we are gonna build a strategic plan for you moving forward that will ultimately save you time, help you get better results, and clear your brain from all of the drama and frustration that you are experiencing right now in your career. Now, to be clear, this is not a free session. I do not do free sessions with people because I've been doing this now for over nine years. Time is precious. This is an exchange of value. So if you want to book a career and leadership strategy session, there's a few ways you can go about doing it. So you can check the show notes. You can email me at john at johnnarrell.com. You can check my website, johnnarrell.com, under the resources tab, and you will see a place to book a strategy session. Right now, the cost for that strategy session is $197. And my question to you is how much would 45 minutes of working with me one-on-one and the cost of something that is less than $200 impact your career in such a way that you could get the transformation you are looking for to feel like you could move forward with more confidence, more conviction, more strategy, more intention that ultimately leads to more results than what you are getting now. Whether it's finding a new job, managing your current employment situation, or preparing to find that new job in 2026. That is what a career and leadership strategy session is all about. Go to my website, johnnarrell.com for more information or check the show notes. But that is one thing you could do a little bit differently right now. Because here's the thing: you can stay stuck where you are, spinning your wheels and being frustrated. Trust me, it is no fun. I have been there several times in my career. Right? Even with my business, when I feel like I am getting stuck or frustrated, it is an opportunity to do something different. This is one way I can help you. This is one way I can help you. So, that being said, remember this. You will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time. And how you show up matters. And one of the best ways you can show up for yourself is taking care of yourself first. Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. You will be glad you did. So until next time, my friends, take care, and I'll be back with you next week. Take care. Bye-bye. Thank you for listening to the Mid Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform. And if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple Podcasts. Visit johnnarrell.com for more information about how I can help you build your Mid-Career GPS, or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at John Daryl Coaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care. And remember, how we show up matters.