287: Three Ways You're Sabotaging Your Job Search & Career

This episode explores how mid-career professionals unknowingly sabotage their job search by "playing small." With over 172,000 layoffs announced in February 2023—a staggering 245% increase from January—accelerating your job search is more critical than ever.

Common pitfalls that hinder success include:

• Searching for the "perfect" strategy instead of focusing on consistent efforts that yield results.
• Avoiding assertive outreach for fear of appearing desperate, when true confidence is key.
• Hesitating to engage your network, mistakenly believing you'll be a burden.

Success comes from strategic action: track what works, confidently communicate your value, and proactively connect with those who can help. 

Ask yourself: How would you show up if you believed your value was non-negotiable?

Download the free Mid-Career Job Seeker's Checklist at johnneral.com to get organized and start seeing results in your job search.

Chapters

• 0:00 High Layoff Numbers Demand Action
• 4:00 Job Search Vulnerability and Fear
• 7:55 Problem #1: Seeking Perfect Search Strategy
• 13:30 Problem #2: Not Being Aggressive Enough
• 17:25 Problem #3: Not Leveraging Your Network
• 21:50 Making Agreements and Playing Full Out
• 23:40 Three Questions for Job Seekers

Transcript

John Neral: 0:01

Last week, us employers announced over 172,000 layoffs for February. That's up 245% from January of this year and it is the highest monthly count since July of 2020. This data was reported by outplacement firm Challenger Gray Christmas, who also noted that more than a third of that total came from Elon Musk's efforts to reduce the federal headcount. While these numbers are daunting and scary, if you've been impacted by this or fear your organization may be eliminating positions, you need to accelerate your job search. The goal Find the job and hopefully, find a job you'll love. In this episode, I will share with you three ways I see people playing small in their job search and how it impacts their results. And when people play small, it can often leave them feeling frustrated, confused and angry. So I'm going to share those things with you, as well as how you can turn some of those around so you can build your mid-career GPS to whatever is next. Let's get started.

John Neral: 1:22

Hello, my friends, this is the Mid-Career GPS Podcast and I'm your host, John Neral. I help mid-career professionals like you find a job they love, or love the job they have, using my proven four-step formula. Before I get into today's episode, two things. One would you do me a favor and kindly share this episode with someone in your network. Would you do me a favor and kindly share this episode with someone in your network? Just take the link to this episode, text it to them, email it to them. Obviously, do it when you're safe, if you're listening to me while you're driving. Don't do it now, but if you could simply share this with somebody and encourage them to follow or subscribe, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you so much for that. And secondly, if you or someone you know is in the midst of a job search and they're feeling a little disorganized or out of sorts in terms of what they quote unquote should be doing, I've got a free resource. It is called the Mid-Career Job Seekers Checklist. You can get a copy of that right there on my website at https://johnneral. com. It is on the homepage. It is also under my freebies section on my website. It's got everything you need to know to get yourself organized, structured and start getting results in your job search. So it's https://johnneral. com/freebies. It's a mid-career job seekers checklist. Go check it out, download it today. Here's how I want to start off our conversation today.

John Neral: 2:50

Any job search, any job interview, is one of the most vulnerable experiences we will have in our lives. Look, we don't spend a large part of our career looking for jobs, even if you've been unemployed for a while and you've been searching for a few months. Yeah, that takes up the primary focus of what you're doing now, but in the scope of your career, it's a minimal part. And the reason why job searches and interviews make us vulnerable is that someone's going to judge us and right now, machines are judging us because we've got to get that resume through the applicant tracking system. But we have a networking conversation, we talk to people, we go for an interview. They're going to make a judgment whether they want to hire us or not. Interview and they're going to make a judgment whether they want to hire us or not. All the preparation, all the studying, all the research and when you get that notification that you're now in the final round of the interview, it's between you and two other candidates and you sit there and go okay, I got a one in three chance. Now your brain will take you to this place of going yeah, but I could be one of the two that don't get the job.

John Neral: 4:11

Fearing rejection is what often holds us back in this entire job search and, additionally, we may think that we're wasting our time, our efforts and our energy because we're not getting a job offer. This market is unquestionably difficult right now. It is not impossible, and one of the ways you can counteract that is by looking at how you are approaching this job search and when I work with my clients and I talk to people who are inquiring about coaching. Here are the things I want to share with you today. Are you someone who is playing full out in this entire process or are you playing small? And I've got three ways for you today, where people are playing small in their job search, you may find you're doing one, two or maybe all three of them, but here's number one you are playing small in this job search.

John Neral: 5:14

If you are looking for the perfect way to find a new job, there is no perfect diet out there. All diets work. There's no perfect exercise there All diets work. There's no perfect exercise program All exercises work. It's just a matter of what you commit to and where you get consistency. And so I work with people who will say to me John, I only want to apply on job boards, but I hear that's not a great way to find a job, or I'm only doing networking, or I'm just going to work with a recruiter. Any of those are viable paths for finding a new job. There is no perfect way to find a new job. It is only the way, the search strategy that you consistently do, that's going to get you the results.

John Neral: 6:07

So what I want you to think about here is where are you spending your time? Are you spending the majority of your job search time on job boards, building those networking connections, having those networking conversations, going to networking events or networking groups online? Are you doing outreach, specifically with recruiters? Where are you spending the time and what's getting you results? Because here's the thing results matter, matter. You could apply for one job online and get it. You could apply to a thousand jobs online and not get it. What efforts are you doing that gets you the best results? And I don't want you to answer this question and say, well, I think I do pretty good with online versus meeting people in person. I don't want you to think. I want you to know. Got to look at some hard data here, be honest with your efforts and evaluate them accordingly. Could you do all three? Sure, all three oftentimes lets you determine which is the best path for you. You have to figure that out. It's your job search and what you are doing to make right.

John Neral: 7:42

The second way I see people playing small in this job search is that they're not being aggressive enough with their efforts. Let me say that again they are not being aggressive enough with their efforts. The key word here is aggressive and, depending on whatever thoughts you have about being aggressive, I want you to take a look at that. Being aggressive doesn't mean a bad thing. You could be aggressive on the athletic field. That could be good. It could also be bad, depending on what sport you're playing.

John Neral: 8:24

When I hear people who are playing small in their job search and I get really curious with them about why they're not doing a little more or being more aggressive. What I often find is this If they keep themselves busy, they can tell themselves they're putting all this effort out there. It doesn't matter. The only thing matters here is the results. So, rather than loading yourself up with a whole bunch of busy work, what if you focused your efforts solely on those activities that produce job leads? Those leads go to interviews or they create better connections for you in your career. They create better connections for you in your career. The busy work has to stop. You must be more strategic in this job search, and so being aggressive simply means you wholeheartedly believe that you have something to offer A team department, an organization, whatever it might be, and you will be relentless in getting your message out there, because getting that job is what's important to you.

John Neral: 9:55

This is not about being desperate or needy or grasping and I want to give you this example, but if let's just say you are walking in the desert, I love this example. This example comes from Master Coach Brooke Castillo at the Life Coach School. I am not certified there. My certification is through IPEC, the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. I have listened and followed Brooke and heard her talk and I want to make sure I give credit where credit is due. But she talks about you're walking in the desert.

John Neral: 10:29

You have this bottle of water, okay, and somebody comes up to you and they're parched and they're thirsty and they've been in the desert and they're parched and they're thirsty and they've been in the desert and they're sweating and they want that bottle of water. There is an exchange of value between the bottle of water you're holding and what someone is willing to pay you for it, and I know everybody always says wouldn't you just give the person the water? It's your water. I know everybody always says wouldn't you just give the person the water? It's your water, you need it, but you're willing to sell it to somebody. Whatever you decide to sell it for is a reflection on the value you believe that bottle of water is to that person because of the transformation they're going to get. What's the transformation for them? They become hydrated. Their cells react better. They get a little bit of energy.

John Neral: 11:31

In your job search right now, the transformation that a company gets by hiring you is what you need to tap into. What do they gain? What's their benefit? Where do they get the win? By bringing you on board? That's the message. That's where people begin playing full out, because they are so clear on their value that they provide that they will show up in such a powerful way. They know that their value is non-negotiable.

John Neral: 12:12

Oftentimes I'm doing this exercise with clients and we're talking about what it means for them to be more aggressive in their job search. With clients and we're talking about what it means for them to be more aggressive in their job search. They will often question and they'll stop the session. So I'm not really good about bragging about myself or I'm not really good at self-promoting. This isn't it. This is not it. What you need to tap into here is that what you have to offer is so needed that any company would be lucky to have you. Any leader would be fortunate to have you on their team.

John Neral: 12:57

Self-promoting and bragging are very different than saying here's what I do, here's how I can help you, but not being aggressive in terms of you saying that message to anyone and everyone is absolutely a way I see people playing small. It doesn't have to be at a formal networking event. I've had people whom I've connected to in my career literally, literally happened in the checkout line at a supermarket. You have to be clear on your value and know how to connect. So the third way this is going to be hard for some people. I'm not going to lie. The third way I see people playing small is that they don't want to bother their network. I hear people say, oh, they're tired, they're frustrated, they're exhausted, they're going through a lot too. I don't want to be a pest, I don't want to turn them off. And so what do you do? You play small, you retreat, you never ask, and when you never ask, you never know. And when you never know, you don't know what could be or what might happen.

John Neral: 14:19

Digging into your network, or digging more deeply into your network, is all about saying to them hey, you and I have known each other for a while. Who can you connect me to? Who should I be speaking with? Just last week, I connected four people in my network to three other people in my network who I thought they'd all be great matches for, and I made email connections and I hyperlinked their LinkedIn profile. Do you know why? Because people said to me who do you know? Who should I be speaking to? Who's a great person in your network that you think they'd like to meet me, and vice versa. That's the ask. That's about leveraging the network. So, look, I may not be able to directly help them, but I have a wonderful network. I am proud of that. I know there are people within my network that could absolutely help them and whenever possible, I'm happy to connect.

John Neral: 15:25

But you are getting in your own way if you are not wanting to bother your network or you have a thought that everyone is busy and you don't want to bother them If they're really good people in your network. They will find a way to help you. They will find a way to make a connection. And I want to offer you this additional tip. So if you've listened to me for a while, you know I keep the most obnoxious to-do list and I scrap it every 30 days because if it's not done in 30 days it's not going to get done. But my brain works pretty quick and I'm constantly putting stuff down. When I make an offer to connect somebody, I say to that person I will get this done by close of business on such a day or by the end of the week. Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Hey, here's what I need from you. If, for any reason, something happens and I don't make that connection, please remind me. I'm going to put it on the to-do list. It's going to get done. If something happens and I forget, it's okay to remind me. I make that agreement. So they don't feel like they have to be trepidatious or hesitant about reaching out and asking me. You can make those agreements with people in your network when somebody says to you hey, I'd love to connect you to so-and-so Great. Thank you so much for that. When do you think you'll be able to do that and they might say, great, I'll be able to do it by Thursday. Great, now, if they don't happen to make the email introduction by Thursday, you could follow up and say, hey, hope, everything's okay. We set up an agreement, you're going to make this introduction by Thursday. Would you still be willing to make it? Or you can say, hey, thanks so much for saying you're going to be able to do this on Thursday. If, for any reason, something happens and you don't get to it, would you be okay if I reminded you Because this connection sounds really great and I really appreciate you making it.

John Neral: 17:38

Earlier today I had to take one of the cars in for service routine service and I got there and I waited almost 20 minutes before somebody came out to help me, and so I was a little frustrated and annoyed and everything. And then the tech says to me are you going to leave it or wait for it? I said, oh, I'm going to wait for it. And the tech goes it's going to be three hours Now. I had my computer with me. I was prepared to sit there and do work. Here's the question I asked Is it going to be three hours? Are you really telling me four? And the guy looked at me and he kind of chuckled. He goes no, no, it's three. I said, okay, just want to make sure. And when it came time to check out, he came over to me and he said I'm so sorry you had to wait long. I hope I was able to at least honor the part about it taking three hours. I said, yeah, you did great. I got a ton of stuff done, got my favorite spot here in the service center and I sat there and got some bunch of work done. It was all good. Right, you know what he says to me. At the end he says, hey, we're going to get a survey. If you wouldn't mind giving me all great ratings. I appreciate it and I know you had to wait, but I hope I made this better.

John Neral: 18:54

We have to make agreements with people. Sometimes we shy away from making agreements for fear that we're going to offend, upset or whatever it might be. Get out of your way. If it's that important to you, you will make that agreement Because I will tell you. If he told me it was really going to be like four, four and a half hours, I probably would have taken a ride share home or I would have brought the car back on another day. It's okay. He said three hours. I'm in, we're doing three hours, it was three hours. Don't be afraid to make those agreements with people. That's how we build relationships. That's how people get to know us.

John Neral: 19:36

See, the impact of playing small in this game is that you will stall your results, going over these three tips that I share with you, for where I see people playing small. Number one you're looking for the perfect way to find a new job. Number two you aren't being aggressive enough with your efforts. And number three, you're not leveraging your network's other connections. If you're doing those things and playing small, you are stalling your results. You are not accelerating this process as much as you potentially could.

John Neral: 20:10

Effort is energy. If you believe in the effort and you put the energy in the right way, results happen. Okay, you play safe because that's what's comfortable, because there's something about telling Aunt Susie, when Aunt Susie gets you at Sunday night dinners like, have you found a new job yet? You're like, oh, I applied for 80 jobs this week. I've heard nothing. That's comfortable because you feel like you're doing the right work. It's not getting you the results. Job searches are not meant to be comfortable because you don't do it all the time. So it's different Get help, get resources, get support.

John Neral: 20:51

I shared at the top of the episode. I've got a checklist on my website to help you get organized. If you want to do some work together, I'm here to help you. We can talk about what hiring me as your coach is going to look like, but if you are playing small in this job search, the biggest impact is you stay stagnant, you don't get results, you don't get into that job quicker, you get more frustrated, more upset, more angry. It impacts your life in so many other different ways because you choose to play small.

John Neral: 21:27

So, as we wrap up, I'm going to ask you three questions and I'm going to give a little bit of time after I ask these questions for you to just think about. If it helps you to pause the episode, by all means do. But here are these three questions. Question number one how would you show up for your job search, your interview or any networking conversation if you knew your value was non-negotiable? Question two what would every professional interaction look like? What would every professional interaction look like? An initial call with a recruiter, hr, professional, hiring manager. What would every interaction look like if you knew you could help someone? Question number three what do you need to do right now to stop playing small in your job search?

John Neral: 23:10

Remember you will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time, and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day and start playing full out. Thank you for listening to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform and, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple Podcasts. Visit johnnerrellcom for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at John Darrell Coaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care and remember how we show up matters. Thank you.