285: Listen to What You Say to Others About Your Job

Do You Love Your Job or Just Like It? Your Career Narrative Shapes Your Satisfaction

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Do I truly love my job, or do I just like the people I work with? In this insightful episode, we explore what it really means to feel fulfilled in your career—and why the stories you tell yourself about your job matter more than you think.

Inspired by a powerful lesson from Simon Sinek, we break down the key differences between loving your work and simply liking it. From job tasks and company culture to compensation and workplace relationships, we uncover the factors contributing to long-term job satisfaction.

I’ll also share a personal story about returning to work after cataract surgery, revealing the deep joy I find in coaching mid-career professionals toward meaningful careers. Plus, you’ll gain practical strategies for navigating workplace conversations with intention, ensuring you communicate your job satisfaction (or dissatisfaction) in a way that benefits your career.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How to assess whether you love your job or just like aspects of it

✅ The power of your internal career narrative and how it affects job satisfaction
✅ A mindful communication strategy for workplace conversations: “Do you need to be heard, helped, or hugged?”
✅ The role of career coaching in finding fulfillment—whether it’s in your current role or a new opportunity
✅ Signs it may be time to pivot in your career and how to navigate change proactively.

If you’re a mid-career professional looking to gain clarity, fulfillment, and career direction, this episode is a must-listen!

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Job Satisfaction in Mid-Career
• 12:21 Navigating Workplace Communication Boundaries

Transcript

John Neral: 0:00

As one of my favorite coaches used to tell me, be careful what you tell yourself, because it may just be true. Thank you, fred Borden. Whether you are networking, interviewing or talking to your friends or loved ones about your job and where you work, the stories you tell about your career and job indicate how much you love or, dare I say, hate your job. Stay tuned. In this episode, I will share some powerful coaching questions you can ask yourself to clarify those career stories you're telling and determine what might be next as you build your mid-career GPS. Let's get started. Hello, my friends, this is the MidCareer GPS podcast and I'm your host, John Neral. I help mid-career professionals like you find a job they love or love the job they have, using my proven four-step formula. If you are new to the podcast, I want to welcome you. Thank you so much for being here. Also, I want to let everybody know that I have several free resources that are located on my website at https://johnneral. com. Those include things like the Mid-Career Job Seekers Checklist that I love when people go ahead and download, because I know it's helping so many people. You can also find some other free resources and guides that are there, including my free twice-weekly Leadership and Career Newsletter. I certainly welcome you to be a part of that as well. You can find all of that on my website at https://johnneral. com as well.

John Neral: 1:51

This episode rings very true and very strongly for me because, as you just heard, I help mid-career professionals find a job they love or love the job they have, and it's important for me to call out here that I'm not helping mid-career professionals find a job they like. We all have jobs that we like. We've probably been in several jobs where we've liked, but the sweet spot here is finding the job you love. And I'm inspired in this episode by a clip I recently found by Simon Sinek, who is the author of great books such as Start With why. But he talks about an experience he had with a young man named Noah, who made him a cup of coffee at the Four Seasons Hotel, and when he asked Noah whether or not or what he liked about his job, noah immediately responded that he loved his job. Noah immediately responded that he loved his job, and Simon goes on to tell the story about how Noah gave such specific examples, about how his management and leadership checked in with him to see what else he needed to do his job better, and that Noah also worked at another hotel and all of his leadership and management over there did was wait to catch him doing something wrong.

John Neral: 3:11

One of the things I love about this video, and what Simon shares, is that love is an emotion. It's a different level of emotion when we hear people say that they love what they're doing or they love their job, and I really want you to lean into that as you listen to this episode, because loving your job is at a completely different level and I also want to offer you that it is very different than simply loving the people you work with. So let's break down each side of the aisle here. So, if you love your job, what I want you to figure out here is what exactly is it you love about it? Is it the kind of work you are doing? Is it about the organization itself? It is about how you're compensated and how much money you're being paid. How much is it about the people whom you work with day in and day out? When we hear people say, or we say ourselves, that we love our job, what I want to know is what is it about your job that you love so much. That excites you? Where are you challenged? What are you motivated by? Where is this job setting you up for whatever is next? Because, in the coaching conversations I have with my clients, is all about digging more deeply into what it is that lights them up about the work they're doing day in and day out. It's the difference between waking up in the morning and saying I have to go to work versus I get to go to work.

John Neral: 4:57

So a few weeks ago I had cataract surgery. It was totally expected and planned and was very grateful to get that done. But I spent a week taking it easy, detaching from work, not doing a whole lot, because you're not supposed to do certain things after cataract surgery and admittedly, it was a little hard for me. Okay. And when I went back to work that following Monday, I was so excited to get to my desk. In fact I got more done that day than I feel like I had gotten done on any other day in the past two weeks. I was just cruising through things and getting them done.

John Neral: 5:41

Because I was excited to get them done, because for me and why I love my work so much is that it is about something bigger than myself. It's about helping all of you, as mid-career professionals, figure out whatever's going to be next, because I want you to experience the same level if not more happiness and satisfaction that you have with your job. So when you think about the job you love, one of the reasons may be because you love the people you get to work with and we need to talk about that for a moment, because the people are great. They're the people with whom we're in the trenches day in and day out. They're our comfort when we go grab a cup of coffee or we go out to lunch or something happens at work, and we immediately go to them because we want to share that with them on some level, okay, or we're looking for them for that kind of support and for us to be there for them as well.

John Neral: 6:49

But when we think about loving the job, I want to offer you that the people are not enough to keep you there. They're enough to keep you there for a certain period of time, but they are not the be-all and end-all, because what happens? At some point someone's going to get an opportunity or someone may be let go, and now you're left, and at that point you may be kicking yourself wondering why didn't I get out of here sooner? I don't mean this to sound like it's about being selfish, but it is about you being 100% responsible for your career as you progress through this mid-career journey and you start eyeing retirement. That is a very selfish decision and one one which, if we are blessed enough, we all get to make. You get to decide when it's your turn to exit, and, as much as you love the people you work with, it is also about going. I'm done. Time for me to retire. We have to acknowledge that.

John Neral: 8:05

Think about how many times you have or you know someone who has stayed in a job longer than expected because they love the people they worked with and didn't want to leave them. Fair enough to say we either have been ourselves or we know someone who has been guilty of that, and there is nothing wrong in that, because for a lot of us it's a coping mechanism, it's a support system that we have and it's what gets us through. So that can absolutely be a part about loving your job. But think about when you're networking or interviewing and people say to you wow, why have you stayed in that organization for eight years, or why have you been with that organization for 12 years? And your answer back is well, I really love the people I work with day in and day out. The immediate question that hiring manager is going to have is going to be well then, what changed? What changed that now you're leaving because you don't love the people you're working with or they left before you? I don't think that's the strongest answer in the book for you to give, but that is dependent on your circumstance and situation.

John Neral: 9:28

So what happens if you don't like your job or, at worst case scenario, hate your job? Well, here we want to know why. Why are you not loving your job? What is it about the job you don't enjoy? Is it the work? Is it the stress level, the toxicity, the clients? Is there someone with whom you are working with day in and day out that absolutely bugs the living daylights out of you? You don't like your boss, you don't like your manager, you don't like your colleague, you don't like the project manager. If you don't like all of them, that's another story, right? So you have to think about who is it that you don't like on the job and how is that contributing to why you are not loving your job right now.

John Neral: 10:20

This is an opportunity for you to get very clear and very granular about what it is exactly about the job you hate or you don't like, because the follow-up question to that is when might it get better? And if you find yourself answering that question with things like, well, I think my boss is going to get promoted and so when they do, I'll get a new boss and that'll make my life better Really, or the question may be once I get out from underneath this project, everything's going to be fine, ask yourself, is that true? A dear friend and mentor of mine told me on one of my jobs and he said if you break down your time here into thirds, a third of the time you're going to love it, a third of the time you're going to hate it and a third of the time you're going to be right in the middle. If the third of the time in the middle is really, really good for you, you'll have a great career here. We can't be Pollyanna or elitist here in thinking that everything about a job is going to be wonderful, because it's not, and especially as we get ready to move in toward the last month of 2025, the first quarter of 2025, it does feel like this year has taken forever, though. Right, but as we wrap up February and we start thinking about okay, we're going to get through quarter one, what do you want? What's in your control? Because if you're looking at your job and you're not seeing a clear pathway forward as to how or when it is going to get better, that may very well be an indication for you to see if making a move, be it internally or externally, is the best move for you.

John Neral: 12:21

Now, with all of this being said, I have a caveat, and the caveat here is be careful what you are saying and who you are saying it to. At work, we all have that trusted colleague, that bestie, if you will, that we confide in and we talk with, and only you can truly know how much you thoroughly trust that friendship, that relationship, that dynamic. But there are ears and sometimes and I have seen this happen where leadership or someone will go up to that trusted colleague and say, hey, is John really happy? You know, is there anything really bugging John right now? And your trusted colleague may want to help and they may say something that you never wanted them to know that other person and all of a sudden. Now you're in a spot that you didn't really envision being in. So be careful with those things. Be careful how much you divulge or how much you share. You can always make agreements, be like look, this is just between us and if I find out you're saying something, we're going to have an issue. Okay.

John Neral: 13:47

But when you're outside of work and you're talking with your spouse, your loved one, your family, your friends, do you find yourself being more negative than usual? Are you unloading, venting, complaining, whining, whatever that might be and I know those are all judgment words, but this is the chance for you to really think about what it is you're saying and are you listening really carefully to what you are saying to other people? Because when we start listening to those conversations, the question I would ask here would be are you being more proactive? Are you just complaining? How are you showing up for those conversations, and are those conversations truly helpful?

John Neral: 14:45

So a coach I had previously worked with shared with me one time that whenever there was something difficult that his spouse would come and talk to him about, that, he would always ask them and say do you need me to hear you, do you need me to help you or do you need me to hug? You Was hear, help or hug, and when his spouse responded with what they needed, he knew how to show up for them. And so I offer that to you as we wrap up this episode, because prefacing a conversation with I just need you to hear me right now can take a lot of pressure off the person listening or engaging with you in that conversation. We know that guys love to solve problems, right, like it is part of our trait, right? We want to fix the problem, move on to something else.

John Neral: 15:54

That may not always be helpful. It can also put a lot of pressure on someone. Where you come to them and they're like I don't really know how to help you right now, the thing they may need most is for you just to listen, so you can show up and set the ground rule for the conversation by simply saying I need to vent, I just need you to listen, I need you to hear me on this, or I've got a problem, I could really use your help with this. Or you say to that significant other it was just a really bad day. Can I just have a hug?

John Neral: 16:27

Whatever that may be, but listen to how you are talking about your job and as you listen to yourself talk about your job, you will be able to figure out do you love it or do you hate it, or are you somewhere in between across dozens of organizations and worked with people at so many different levels and in different circumstances within their career. One of the things I truly love about my job is helping them have the clarity they need to make a decision. In some cases the people I work with they actively go out and pursue and find a new job. Others realize that staying in that organization is probably the best move for them, and so we work on what it means for them to love the job where they're at and love the job they have. But it's one of the most powerful things about career coaching is helping my clients get the clarity they need to make the decision as they move forward. And whatever that is for you whether you're looking for a new job or you are comfortable where you are there is always a step forward Doesn't necessarily have to be a promotion. That step forward may simply be nothing more than I just need to manage my day a whole lot better. Whatever that is, or I need to manage this relationship I have with my leadership a little bit differently. Whatever that may be, but that is a key component to building your mid-career GPS, because when you figure those things out, you will absolutely find ways to love the job you have or find that job you love.

John Neral: 18:26

I am honored you have spent this time with me. If you enjoyed this episode, kindly do me a favor and copy this link and share it with somebody you know who would benefit from listening. And my friends remember this. You will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time, and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of the day. I'll be back with you next week, take care. Thank you for listening to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform and, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple podcasts. Visit johnnerrellcom for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at John Darrell Coaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care and remember how we show up matters, thank you,