274: "That's Above My Pay Grade" - Setting Boundaries Without Burning Bridges

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a simple yet powerful phrase that can reshape how you navigate workplace challenges: “That’s above my pay grade.” Far from being dismissive or defensive, this phrase—when used thoughtfully—can set clear boundaries, safeguard your professional integrity, and help you approach tough situations with confidence and clarity.

I’ll share a personal story highlighting the importance of maintaining boundaries, especially when your values or role are being tested. We’ll discuss how to identify the right moments to escalate issues to higher-ups, and I’ll give you practical tips to ensure those conversations are productive and professional.

Effective communication is at the heart of workplace success, and I’ll reflect on a past mistake where a poorly worded comment derailed an important relationship. Together, we’ll unpack how to approach tricky interactions with a problem-solving mindset to strengthen trust and collaboration.

Join me as we build Your Mid-Career GPS. By the end of this episode, you’ll feel more equipped to set healthy boundaries, foster stronger professional relationships, and take control of your career trajectory.

For more resources and tools to help you thrive in your career, visit https://johnneral.com.

Check out my brand new journal - 30 Self-Coaching Questions for Mid-Career Professionals, available on Amazon.

Chapters

• 0:00 Advantages of Saying "Above My Pay Grade"
• 13:01 Navigating Professional Relationships and Boundaries
• 17:40 Building Your Mid-Career GPS

Transcript

John Neral: 0:00

that's above my pay grade. It all depends on who's saying it, and I want you to pause for a moment and ask yourself if you're the one thinking or actually saying that out loud, or if someone's saying that to you. That sentence can make the strongest manager shudder and the most powerful and confident employees nervous. But when's the best time to say it? What are the advantages and disadvantages of saying and speaking those words? In this episode, I have got three points for you on either side of that argument and I'm gonna share them with you to help you decide whether or not those words need to be spoken out loud in this job market and where it can help you or hurt you. So let's get started.

John Neral: 1:01

Hello, my friends, this is the Mid-Career GPS Podcast and I'm your host, John Neral. I help mid-career professionals like you find a job they love, or love the job they have, using my proven four-step formula. Before I get to today's episode, I've got a special announcement for you and some news I want to share with you. This entire year, I have gone back to journaling, and it's one of the things that I wanted to do this year to help me, just with some greater clarity in terms of what was going on in my business, what was going on in my life for me personally, and, admittedly, I've fallen back in love with journaling and I was thinking about how I could take this love of journaling and share it with all of you, and that's why I want to tell you that I have created a brand new journal for you. If you are somebody who enjoys journaling or is thinking about journaling, I want to let you know that my new journal is now available on Amazon. It is called 30 Self-Coaching Questions for Mid-Career Professionals, and the questions and the prompts that are in this journal are designed to help you figure out whatever is next for you in your career, whether it's about things that are going well or not going well. I put this journal together to give you the space to make this a living document about what's going on in your career right now. Now this journal is available on Amazon, and I will tell you at the time of this recording this journal is available for $7.95, right, I put this out there because I wanted you to have something that would give you that time to think and reflect, and so, whether you are a voracious journaler or you're thinking, eh, it might be helpful to jot some things down. I want you to head over to Amazon. You can search for it. My name John Neral - N-E-R-A-L. You'll find that in the books that come up it's called 30 Self-Coaching Questions for Mid-Career Professionals. I would be honored if you would go ahead and buy the book and certainly, after you've gotten it, if you would leave me a rating and review. That would be greatly appreciated as well.

John Neral: 3:33

So today's episode is all about whether or not this phrase that's above my pay grade is advantageous for you to say or not. So let's break the phrase down. When you hear that's above my pay grade, what are your thoughts about it? What kind of emotions come up for you? Because you are telling someone that whatever you are being asked you will not do or whatever decision needs to be made is not at your level. And what I want to offer you at the top of this episode is that telling someone that's above my pay grade does not have to be a quote-unquote bad comment. It is all about your thoughts on it and it's about your thoughts on it in terms of how you show up with it. Now I will share with you that I have said that once in my career in a very powerful moment and it was something which, I will admit, my mouth probably got the best of me in it. So here's what happened I was working in an organization and my immediate supervisor had been let go and there was an all hands meeting and the person had come up to me it was another supervisor, came up to me and basically said okay, I don't want to say insinuated, because the message was pretty clear.

John Neral: 5:06

And they said well, I hope you'll pitch in and help now that you know we're going to need some extra help. And while I didn't exactly say that was above my pay grade, what I did say to them was this you needed a better plan. Like I said, my mouth got the best of me and I remembered my colleagues on my team said to me they're like John, you are going to get fired. And I said I am not getting fired today. And I left that organization three months later and I left to take another position and I often think about that situation because could I have handled that differently? There was some emotion wrapped up in knowing that my immediate supervisor had been let go.

John Neral: 5:57

I was defensive and protective and at the same time, I also knew the organization and I was not about to do work, I was not going to be paid for, and so oftentimes, when we hear the phrase that's above my pay grade, it can very much be about setting some boundaries. And so when we think about three positive reactions or thoughts around this phrase of that's above my pay grade, that's number one. This is about acknowledging boundaries. In my show up, six strategies, the S in show up stands for setting ground rules. You know what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. You set a very clear boundary in terms of ensuring that you are not overstepping your role or you are not compromising on a particular value that is important to you. So when we set boundaries, we set up guardrails or protections in terms of this is what I'm willing to do and this is what I am not willing to do. All right.

John Neral: 7:11

But the second thing and the second advantage in saying to a supervisor, a manager, a director, that's above my pay grade is this you are acknowledging that there is a need for escalation. Let me say that again. You are acknowledging that there is a need for escalation. Let me say that, again, you are acknowledging that there is a need for escalation. It communicates that whatever action needs to be taken or decision that needs to be made needs approval from someone higher than you, that somebody at a level above you needs to put their attention on it. Yes, it still creates that boundary or ground rule, but it's letting that person know that you're not the decision maker on this one, nor should you be right. It is that CYA moment cover your if there's kids listening. I'm not going to say it right, but it's that cover your butt moment where you are protecting yourself so you yourself are not getting in trouble Protecting yourself, so you yourself are not getting in trouble.

John Neral: 8:24

But the third thing that happens here and this to me is one of the biggest advantages of communicating this is above my pay grade is that it creates a dialogue. If it's said in the right way, a dialogue is opened because you have strategically said this is above my pay grade and you open up a discussion as to whether or not you may want to take on responsibilities beyond your role. If that's the case, this then becomes a strategic opportunity for you to advance your career and position within the company. You increase your visibility by being in a new role where you could allow for professional development, mentorship, partnerships that you didn't have otherwise. In a couple of episodes, I'm going to share with you some reflections on 2024, but to tease this for just a moment, there is a greater sense of urgency and commitment for mid-career professionals right now to stay where they are, that they're willing to put up with a little bit more because of the way the job market is right now and and so, if that's the case for you, these kinds of dialogues and conversations are essential for seeing where you can increase your visibility and exposure that may position you for a promotion in 2025 or beyond.

John Neral: 9:58

So again, the three positives here for saying that's above my pay grade. Number one, it acknowledges a boundary and establishes a ground rule. Number two, it communicates that there is a need for escalation. And number three, it creates a dialogue. But there are some negative or disadvantages to saying that, and so the first one I want to offer you here is that it could be interpreted as avoidance.

John Neral: 10:29

When you say to a manager or direct supervisor that's above my pay grade, what you are doing is you are refusing to engage or contribute. If this is coming from a place of avoidance and you run the risk of that being interpreted as you lacking initiative or being unwilling to solve a problem. More than likely that's not the brand or the message you want to put out there. So we have to be careful. If we're saying to a supervisor yeah, that's above my pay grade that we don't want it to come across as you avoiding an opportunity or resisting an opportunity simply because you don't want to. We've said on the podcast before and have guests back me up on this as well which is, if you provide context as to why you are saying no, it can make your case much stronger.

John Neral: 11:30

The second negative consequence or reaction here of saying to someone that's above my pay grade is that it can limit growth opportunities. It may be interpreted or you may be communicating that you are content where you are, you love being in your lane and in your current role and you have no desire to advance beyond it. Beyond it, essentially, it's just let me do my job and leave me the heck alone. It may hinder your chances of being recognized for promotion or other opportunities, but if you are saying to someone, yeah, that's above my pay grade. But if you are saying to someone, yeah, that's above my pay grade. What I want you to think about here is what does that say, or how does that impact your brand? Right, if your brand is what Jeff Bezos defines as what people say about you when you're not in the room, are there negative consequences or reactions for you saying to an immediate supervisor yeah, that's above my pay grade, I don't want to play in that. Okay, what's that going to do to your brand? Do you work in an organization where that's a one and done and you'll never be considered again? Or is there some kind of damage control you may need to do because of it?

John Neral: 13:01

But the third negative reaction or consequence here is coming across with a dismissive tone and in my example I shared with you I need to honor and acknowledge that was me. I was flippant, I was dismissive, I was unprofessional, it was not my best day in the office and I knew that piece of it is is that that flippancy can absolutely damage a professional relationship. We talk about how we never want to burn a bridge, but the reality is saying something like that, in that kind of flippant tone, can absolutely burn a bridge and you have to be prepared for the consequences that come from that. I will tell you that the next three months I worked in that organization. I knew what I said was remembered and as much as I had thought, considered, predicted that there was going to be a reorganization. There was going to be some changes. As I've said to you time and time again, I firmly believe we are 100% responsible for our career.

John Neral: 14:23

I made it a point to exit that organization before anything like that happened. I wanted myself to have as much control as possible and when I did announce that I was leaving, someone whom I highly respected within the organization came up to me and privately said to me that was the smartest move he had seen there in months. So you have to be careful of saying something like that's above my pay grade or something similar in that way, because if there's going to be collateral damage to those professional relationships, it's very hard to backtrack from that. I didn't. You know, I went into the office every day. I was like, okay, what needs to get done? But I was not going to do work above my current role without being compensated for it and admittedly, I didn't wanna move into that role. So for me my best option at that point was to move out, but I knew the consequences and the ramifications from it.

John Neral: 15:27

Okay, I am not perfect. I am not. I have not had 100% shining days in the office and those of you who know me really well are probably chuckling as you're listening to this, just simply because, yeah, I'm human, like all of you too. Right, you know I have learned from my mistakes. I will tell you that you know the benefit of being able to say this needs to be escalated. I'm not the one to make that decision. Hey, that's above my pay grade. We need to get so-and-so involved is a much different conversation than avoiding or flat out refusing and not offering any other alternative. So, again, it is about context.

John Neral: 16:14

If you are thinking about you're dealing with a particular work situation, especially at the end of the year here, where team members are taking off, you may be over allocated, you may feel like you're having to consume a lot of the pressure and work because other people are not in the office, or you're just simply short staffed. You have to figure out where is the office, or you're just simply short-staffed. You have to figure out where is the boundary for you, where can you show up and advocate for yourself and do it in a way that is professional and cordial and has an element of problem-solving in it, without feeling like you are being the company doormat all of the time. All right, so think about it. Think about how you want to use that phrase. I want to kindly remind you once again that I've got this new journal that's out there on Amazon, called 30 Self-Coaching Questions for Mid-Career Professionals. Be honored if you would go check that out.

John Neral: 17:09

If you enjoyed today's episode, kindly share it with somebody. If you know someone that's going through a difficult time with at work, definitely share it with them. I will be back with you next week to share some holiday wishes for you, and we've got a couple more episodes left here in 2024. So in the meantime, good luck getting everything done, as the holidays are very quickly and fast approaching. But, most importantly, make sure to find that balance for you between your work and your personal life as well.

John Neral: 17:40

So until next time, my friends, remember this you will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time, and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day. Thank you for listening to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform and, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple Podcasts. Visit johnnarrellcom for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS, or how I can help you and being back with you next week. Until then, take care and remember how we show up matters.