197: Four Tips to Help You When You No Longer Love Your Job or Organization

Ever found yourself caught in the drudgery of a job that no longer brings you joy? The sparkle of passion suddenly dulled by monotony? You're not alone. Listen as I share my personal experiences of facing such challenging career moments, reflecting on an intriguing discussion with former Dancing with the Stars host, Tom Bergeron. He candidly opens up about the stark realities of show business - the organizational politics, the shift in passion and the eventual parting of ways. His tale offers valuable insights that could be your guiding light in navigating the rocky phases of your career.

But, it doesn't end there. As we delve deeper, we lay down actionable steps to regain control of your career trajectory. We discuss how to handle resentment, identify what's within your control, and underscore the importance of taking full responsibility for your career. Also, we explore the concept of building a mid-careoer GPS, demonstrating how taking it one step at a time and consistently showing up can make a difference. As an added perk, I'll also be sharing ways to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me for more career guidance and insights. So, tune in, and let's start recalibrating your career today!

Chapters

• 0:00 Falling Out of Love With Job
• 12:29 Take Control of Your Career Tips
• 20:52 Building Your Mid-Career GPS

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you ever fallen out of love with your job, leader or organization? Like some relationships, this happens, and it can be very upsetting realizing one day that you don't love your job or organization as much as you once did and they don't love you the same way they once did. It's one of the reasons why many mid-career professionals decide it's time to start looking for a new job. I recently listened to a podcast episode featuring one of my favorite television hosts, who shared their rise and fall within one organization, and I'm going to share my takeaways from listening to that conversation with you. Plus, I will share four tips to help you navigate this tumultuous or confusing time in your career so you can find that job you'll love. Let's get started. Hello, my friends, this is episode 197 of the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. I'm your host, john Narrell, and I help mid-career professionals who feel stuck, undervalued and underutilized show up to find a job they'll love, or love the job they have, using my proven four-step formula.

Speaker 1: 1:25

I am back after a few weeks of best of episodes, as I was recovering from retinal attachment surgery. I want to thank you all again for your well wishes and messages. I am still being cautious and slowly getting back up to full speed, but I am ready to be back with you and excited for what I have planned for these upcoming months. Now, one of the things I have never shared on this podcast is my love for the television show Dancing with the Stars. I have watched it from the very beginning. Yes, I have watched some casts more than others, but in general, I have always looked at DWTS as this show. That is just a little uplifting, it is fun. I am not a dancer I have not been graced with the gift of dance and rhythm in that way but I marvel at people who put themselves out there and, admittedly, get really, really good at it. Being a fan of the show, I was excited to start listening to the Sex Lies and Spray Tans podcast with Cheryl Burke, who was not only one of the dancers on the show but also a champion on that show as well.

Speaker 1: 2:49

She interviewed host Tom Bergeron. Tom hosted Dancing with the Stars for 28 seasons and you can Google a little bit about what happened in terms of why he left and he has made no bones about why he was essentially forced out or his contract wasn't renewed or quote-unquote. They were moving in a different direction as I was listening to this two-part episode as I was recovering from surgery, I couldn't help but think how what Tom was sharing in terms of navigating the climate, the organizational politics, how it really is no different than what many of us have had to endure and experience along our career journeys as well. I wanted to share with you a few takeaways from that episode. The first thing was he said show business should really be show in lower case letters and business in all capital letters. That, aside from what you as a fan get to see, that there are politics and business decisions that happen inside any organization. And there's a part in the episode where he says when somebody came to him and said they were moving the show in a new direction, he could smell the bullfunky. I'll keep it G rated. He doesn't. I appreciated that. He could just smell that something wasn't right. How many times in your career have you trusted your spidey sense and have thought, yeah, I don't like the way this is moving? Or you've been through a reorg and maybe you've survived the reorg but you are unsure as to what exactly the direction the company is going to take.

Speaker 1: 4:54

One of the things Tom talks about is after the show had essentially been off the air for almost a year and they were coming back. The showrunners and producers came to him wanting some ideas about what they thought, or what he thought, rather, the new cast should be, and he thought that one of the strengths of Dancing with the Stars was keeping it very politically neutral, that it needed to be people that viewers at home could root for, they could cheer on, they would enjoy watching, and they fed them all the lines about yeah, we agree with you, we think that's right, and this was the season when former press secretary Sean Spicer was on the show. I want to say this was season 28. I may have that wrong, but there's a moment when Tom is recounting this that he talks about how he was falling out of love with the show. And in my work and in my work with my clients, when we talk about this, I describe it as they've crossed over the bridge, that when you've crossed over that bridge, you get across that apex of the bridge. You're already on the other side, meaning that you're going to leave. You know you're going to leave, you're starting to think about that and in Tom's case, he had a contract to fulfill but nevertheless he was no longer in love with the show and what that also meant was he really was no longer loving the job.

Speaker 1: 6:30

And he talks about how, at the start of the episode, he and his co-host, aaron Andrews, would be behind this door and they would walk out to start the show. And he goes. We got to a point we just looked at each other and said it's two hours. And I remember hearing that, thinking and relating to my own experiences where how many times have I gone through the motions and going into work realizing that it was eight hours and I just had to get through it and, admittedly, that is an awful place to be in. It's not a great place we enjoy being in. It's why, if you're listening to this podcast, you relate to the fact of feeling stuck, undervalued and underutilized Because you feel like you're just going through the motions of the show.

Speaker 1: 7:26

Well, when the show, quote unquote, moved in that new direction and they brought in host Tyra Banks, tom has this great line and says well, she didn't have to change the monogram towels because their initials were the same. But when the show did a 30 episode anniversary special, there was no clip of him in it and he said admittedly that hurt Because that took a lot of effort, after me being on the show for 28 seasons, that I was completely left out of any celebration or retrospective of that show. And at one point, cheryl Burke says to him do you think they would have rather had you leave on your own? And he says, yeah, there was. There was a part of that, I think, where you know, they, they he felt like he was getting forced out or he felt like they were trying to make it so miserable. But he's like look, I got a contract, it's what I do in this business. I fulfill my contract and unless they want to break it which is what essentially happened as I understood it, they bought him out of the contract and they didn't have him do the remaining two seasons of the show which he was contracted to do.

Speaker 1: 8:51

It is something with which and I can share with you I have experienced this on my own in my career I have worked in places where things have been so miserable they would rather me leave on my own, then tell me I'm no longer needed or I'm terminated or whatever. That is. That being said and I want to acknowledge these are my thoughts, but, that being said, I also want to acknowledge I am extremely grateful that I was given the runway and the space and the grace to leave on my own, because if you've ever been fired from a job and I have if you've ever been fired from a job, it is not a great place to be in, and trying to interview for that job when you've been terminated can also be especially difficult. It impacts how you tell your story, how you think people are looking at you. So a lot of things to consider there. So, given an opportunity to leave on my own in past jobs I have been very, very grateful for.

Speaker 1: 10:06

So if you are listening to me right now and you feel like you have fallen out of love with your job, more than likely you have been considering what that next move is going to be. What do you see yourself doing as you build your mid-career GPS to whatever is next? What do you see as the next move? Is it a bridge job, meaning you just take another job until you're ready to find what you really believe is going to be that job you love? Do you take the lateral? Do you try to elevate towards a promotion? Do you stay within the organization and pivot to a different department or team? Do you leave the organization altogether? Do you leverage your network and see who's hiring? Do you hop on the job boards and start submitting applications, thinking that, gosh, if I just get an interview, let me see what happens? This is all normal, but what I want you to acknowledge here is that your inner voice, your internal barometer, is telling you that something needs to happen.

Speaker 1: 11:22

So I promised you four tips to help you sort and figure this out. Here's tip number one what has changed? If you're feeling as if you have fallen out of love with your job, what's changed? Is it something that's changed within you? Is it something that's changed with your boss or leadership? A lot of times I hear from people that their boss left. They got promoted, they got poached into a new organization and they loved working with them, and they don't love the new boss that they're working with right now, or their boss doesn't really care for them as much. Has the organization itself changed? Has there been an acquisition? Has executive leadership changed? Are they moving in a different direction? I want to offer you here that, if you are feeling like you have fallen out of love with your job, you must identify the root cause and what has changed, and it can be multiple things.

Speaker 1: 12:29

The second tip here is to identify what is in your control. In other words, what can you change as well as what are you willing to change Now, when you acknowledge what is in your control, you then start taking action, and it doesn't have to be massive action, but you're taking action to doing something. Maybe it's showing up and having an intentional conversation with your immediate boss or supervisor. Maybe it's taking action around getting your resume together, starting to have conversations with your network to see who's hiring, who would be willing to hire you. But understanding what is in your control lets you determine what you are willing to take on and what you are not.

Speaker 1: 13:29

I remember working in one organization where I was very, very protective of my team that I was leading and the thing that I had control over was how I was leading that team. There were things organizationally going on around us that were understandably unnerving or a little upsetting or uncertain, but I couldn't control that. I wasn't in those meetings. I didn't have that seat at the table. What I knew I could do was I could take exceptional care of my team as best as I could until it was determined either I was going to leave or they didn't want me in that role anymore. So I really want you to think about what's in your control. What are you willing to change or take on at this point?

Speaker 1: 14:22

Tip number three is about what are you feeling resentful about? Resentment is a powerful emotion and resentment can absolutely be a driving force for change and action. So what's making you feel resentful? Did you get passed over for a promotion? Did you not get the raise you wanted? Did you not get the bonus you thought you were going to get? Are you having to work more hours and put in extra hours after work or on the weekends, because that's the nature of the work and where you are right now? Are you feeling resentful that other people have left the organization before you and you're stuck trying to fix things and hold things together and now you feel like you're obligated in some way? If that is the case, I want to offer you to get really clear on what those thoughts are and how true they are.

Speaker 1: 15:26

But if you're feeling resentful, it is a golden opportunity for you to lean in and determine what is causing the resentment, and a lot of times and a big shout out to my friend, kate Dunovan, who I've had on the show previously who has talked about resentment in our careers and in our lives. But a lot of times you may hear people say, well, you should be grateful you have a job. Yeah, it's hard for me to feel grateful having a job when I'm pissed off at my boss. Those are the kind of things where I want you to get really clear on what's coming up for you, what's bubbling or boiling up for you, and where resentment is playing a role in that. And lastly, tip number four is to always remember that you are 100% responsible for your career. You are not stuck. You may be in a circumstance that is not ideal, but you have a way to change that, whether it is changes internally in your own immediate circle, or you have decided it is time for you to get out of that organization and go somewhere else that you believe is a little healthier, a little less toxic, whatever that might be. And if that's the case, being 100% responsible for your career means that you're also thinking of a lot of things you can do, and I've got something to help you with that. So if you go to my website, johnnarrellcom, or you check the show notes or the featured section on my LinkedIn, I have created a brand new mid-career job seekers checklist. It's free. All you got to do is enter in your name and your email address to get the download. But this checklist is going to help you compartmentalize and organize all of the things you may choose to do as you navigate toward whatever is next. So a bunch of people have already gotten the checklist, hearing good things about it. So definitely, if that's of value to you, go to my website, johnnarrellcom, get the checklist and let me help you start organizing those thoughts.

Speaker 1: 17:48

But I want to add one other takeaway for my conversation not conversation, but the conversation I heard between Cheryl Burke and Tom Bergeron in listening to this podcast. I love television. I've always loved TV, especially as a kid. I am fascinated by the behind the scenes stories and the tea, if you will, and I would remember listening to that episode and thinking nothing's really different. Yes, it's a different industry and a different organization, but the circumstances, the politics, the things that go on, they're all the same. I have worked for a church. I've worked for multiple churches early on in my career. I have worked in nonprofit, I have worked in education, I have worked in corporate, I have worked for government, they're all the same. They're all the same. The situations, the politics, the play, they're all the same. And hearing the conversation between Cheryl and Tom just reiterated for me that you can be in my TV set in my living room once or twice a week, I can pull up YouTube and watch clips and things like that, and you still have to deal with the same crap and garbage that we all get to deal with at times in our career. They're no different. But how we handle those situations, what we do about them, is truly what makes the difference.

Speaker 1: 19:26

So, to wrap up the four tips to help you start figuring out you know what might be next for you in your career. So tip number one was identifying what's changed. If you've fallen out of love with your job, what's changed? Tip number two is identifying what's in your control. Tip number three is understanding and acknowledging where you are resentful. Resentful can be a powerful emotion and be that driving force for you to take change or action. And lastly, tip number four is recognize you are a hundred percent responsible for your career. All right, again, if you want to get that mid-career job seekers checklist, check my website at johnnarrowcom, visit the show notes or the featured section on my LinkedIn.

Speaker 1: 20:17

But what's one action you want to take from this episode? If you aren't loving your job anymore, what does that look like for you? You can make a conscious choice to do nothing, and I want to acknowledge there is nothing wrong in that. Sometimes that is the best decision for you because you have other things that are going on that may need your attention. What is the one action you want to take? I want you to think about that, consider that as a result of this episode and join me for the next episode.

Speaker 1: 20:52

Don't forget to follow or subscribe as well, wherever you're listening to this. My friends remember this. You will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time, and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day. Thank you for listening to the mid-career GPS podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform and, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple podcasts. Visit JohnNarrowcom for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. Don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at JohnNarrowCoaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care and remember how we show up matters.