The Mid-Career GPS Podcast

195: Best of Episode - Transform Your Conversations: Confidence Tips from Tracy Hooper

October 24, 2023 John Neral Season 3
195: Best of Episode - Transform Your Conversations: Confidence Tips from Tracy Hooper
The Mid-Career GPS Podcast
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The Mid-Career GPS Podcast
195: Best of Episode - Transform Your Conversations: Confidence Tips from Tracy Hooper
Oct 24, 2023 Season 3
John Neral

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Have you ever wondered how to command attention when you enter a room, or introduce yourself with the kind of unwavering confidence that leaves an indelible impression? Prepare to be inspired and informed as we engage with the incredible Tracy Hooper, founder of the Confidence Project and author of the Now Hello. She opens up about her journey from a family of journalists to becoming a professional communicator herself. Tracy's advice on confidently introducing oneself and the significance of physical connection such as making eye contact and shaking hands is just the tip of the iceberg.

Transitions can be tough, especially in your career. Tracy expounds on the essential role of communication when navigating through these shifts. She offers practical tips on choosing the right words to elevate your professional presence and shares an inspiring tale of how she sowed the seeds of her business. Her mission of teaching essential communication skills originally targeted at young women, has now grown to include everyone. Don't miss her enlightening perspective!

The power of words cannot be underestimated. Tracy and I explore this topic in depth, discussing our choices of words, how to substitute them with more effective ones, and the reasons behind the frequent use of disclaimers. We examine the importance of validators and how something as simple as replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you" can transform a conversation. At the heart of it all is Tracy's mission through the Confidence Project, empowering people to feel good about themselves without the need for an apology. So, are you ready to step up your communication game? Let's get started!

Connect with Tracy Hooper
Website | LinkedIn

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening to The Mid-Career GPS Podcast.
Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts here.

Want me to review your LinkedIn profile?
Learn more here.

Visit https://johnneral.com to join The Mid-Career GPS Newsletter, a free, twice-weekly career and leadership resource for mid-career professionals.

Connect with John on LinkedIn here.
Follow John on Instagram @johnneralcoaching.
Subscribe to John's YouTube Channel here.

Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Send us a Text Message.

Have you ever wondered how to command attention when you enter a room, or introduce yourself with the kind of unwavering confidence that leaves an indelible impression? Prepare to be inspired and informed as we engage with the incredible Tracy Hooper, founder of the Confidence Project and author of the Now Hello. She opens up about her journey from a family of journalists to becoming a professional communicator herself. Tracy's advice on confidently introducing oneself and the significance of physical connection such as making eye contact and shaking hands is just the tip of the iceberg.

Transitions can be tough, especially in your career. Tracy expounds on the essential role of communication when navigating through these shifts. She offers practical tips on choosing the right words to elevate your professional presence and shares an inspiring tale of how she sowed the seeds of her business. Her mission of teaching essential communication skills originally targeted at young women, has now grown to include everyone. Don't miss her enlightening perspective!

The power of words cannot be underestimated. Tracy and I explore this topic in depth, discussing our choices of words, how to substitute them with more effective ones, and the reasons behind the frequent use of disclaimers. We examine the importance of validators and how something as simple as replacing "I'm sorry" with "thank you" can transform a conversation. At the heart of it all is Tracy's mission through the Confidence Project, empowering people to feel good about themselves without the need for an apology. So, are you ready to step up your communication game? Let's get started!

Connect with Tracy Hooper
Website | LinkedIn

Support the Show.

Thank you for listening to The Mid-Career GPS Podcast.
Please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts here.

Want me to review your LinkedIn profile?
Learn more here.

Visit https://johnneral.com to join The Mid-Career GPS Newsletter, a free, twice-weekly career and leadership resource for mid-career professionals.

Connect with John on LinkedIn here.
Follow John on Instagram @johnneralcoaching.
Subscribe to John's YouTube Channel here.

Speaker 1:

Hello, my friends, after I posted last week's episodes, my retina detached once again. I found myself last Wednesday having emergency retinal attachment surgery and thankfully, things seem to be going well. I wanna take this moment to thank all of you who have either commented or reacted to my LinkedIn post, emailed or text message. I want you to know. I am so appreciative of your well wishes, thoughts and prayers and I kindly ask you to keep them coming. Not out of the woods yet, but things definitely seem to be on a much better track. So, understandably, I'm taking the next couple of weeks off and I'm sharing some of my best of episodes with you.

Speaker 1:

And this week I am taking you all the way back to August 2022, to my conversation with the founder of the confidence project, tracy Hooper. As a former news reporter and television anchor, tracy founded the confidence project to help people show up more confidently, and confidently in their work, and I asked Tracy onto the podcast because, if you are an active job seeker or you are trying to build your executive presence, speaking more confidently is something I know you struggle with, and in my conversation with Tracy, she touches on some very simple yet tactical strategies to help you be more confident in your everyday lives. So this is episode 110, and it is my pleasure to bring you my conversation with Tracy Hooper. Thank you again, tracy Hooper. Welcome to the mid-career GPS podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. I'm Tracy Hooper, who is delighted to be here.

Speaker 1:

Did you catch that? I made one of, if not the biggest hosting mistakes? I mispronounced my guest's name? Tracy's last name is spelled H-O-O-P-E-R and my guest gracefully and confidently corrected me. Listen to it again. Tracy Hooper, welcome to the mid-career GPS podcast.

Speaker 2:

Thank you. I'm Tracy Hooper, who is delighted to be here.

Speaker 1:

And that sets the entire tone for this episode. Have you been on an interview and the interviewer mispronounced your name and you're uncertain if you should correct them or even how you would do that? As I kick off a month of programming designed to help you with your next interview, being more confident and confident about how you present yourself and how you tell your story is more important than ever. That's why Tracy is the perfect guest for today's episode. Today, you'll meet Tracy Hooper, the founder of the confidence project and the author of the Now Hello. She leads dynamic presentations for high achieving employee groups of any size and provides one-on-one advising for executives and professionals in a variety of industries. Tracy has been a TV news reporter, anchor producer and voiceover professional with clients such as Disney, marriott and NFL Films. The confidence project clients include Nike, intel, merck, first Republic Bank and Kaiser Permanente. Tracy's aim is to cultivate a culture where people elevate their presence, communicate with clarity and work together better. And when it comes to your next interview, our conversation will help you calm your nerves, communicate your story more effectively and boost your confidence.

Speaker 1:

This is the Mid-Career GPS Podcast and I'm your host, john Nerrell. I help mid-career professionals who are feeling stuck, undervalued and underutilized. Show up to find a job they love, or love the job they have, using my proven four step formula. It's time to start building your mid-career GPS. So let's get started. Tracy Hooper is an expert communicator. As you listen to our conversation, I want you to focus on what Tracy says and how she says it, so you can make the connection about how you will tell your story in your next interview. In her words, there are words we should use and words we should lose. Tracy Hooper is an expert communicator. Tracy Hooper is a professional communicator. In words we should lose. I asked all of my guests what they wanted to be growing up For Tracy. It was very clear she was going to do something that involved helping people.

Speaker 2:

John, I wanted to be a nurse. That was because the professional women I knew were nurses. My mother was raising six children. My dad was a sportscaster. He started off in the newspaper business and then went into the radio business all around sports and then ended his career for 50 years as a sportscaster many years on television. But it never occurred to me that I could do something like that. But the women who I saw in my world had jobs as teachers and nurses. The problem was that I'm a lousy science student.

Speaker 2:

I get to college and I call my mother in the middle of my sophomore year and I said, mom, I'm failing out. And she said what do you mean? I said, well, I'm getting A's and B's in my English courses, but D's and F's in my science courses. She said, well, why don't you change your major? I said, well, if I'm not a nurse, what am I going to be? She said, tracy, why do you have to be anything? Why can't you just be educated? I thought, oh my gosh, what a great idea. I literally walked down to the South Administration Building, changed my major at the University of Maryland, changed my major to English, and I never looked back and I never really thought about what I was going to do with that English degree. I thought I'll be educated, I'll find something.

Speaker 1:

I love how you phrase that. What great advice from your mom in that regard. Obviously, you're inspired by your parents your father, who was a renowned journalist, and everything, and you found yourself in your career moving into television.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, when I graduated from college, I had worked in the admissions office and I thought, well, I'll do that. For a while I was offered a job, so I started working. I would travel around the state interviewing students and their parents and really finding that the important part was to connect with people. How do you, of course, learning growing up, looking people in the eye, shaking their hands firmly, introducing myself using my first and last name, which are some of the important parts of the confidence project that I share with people. By the way, if it's tricky for you to look someone in the eye, just look at the bridge of their nose. It's a great fake. But I didn't learn that as a child.

Speaker 2:

Early on in my college recruitment career, I thought I don't really want to do this for the rest of my life, and then I got stuck. What am I going to do? A friend of mine said to me you know, tracy, you like interviewing, we work together. She said you like interviewing and you're comfortable with public speaking. Why don't you go into TV news, john?

Speaker 2:

It never occurred to me, given my family's background, that I would ever do that, but I got connected with a television station at a community college near the university and borrowed their little cameras I mean little scubic cameras and started doing some interviewing and to get it real together. Then, after a while, I got enough stories together that I was able to send my demo reel around the country to very tiny towns. I ended up at WBOC in Salisbury, maryland, which is on the eastern shore of Maryland. The BOC stands for between the ocean, as in the Atlantic Ocean, and the Chesapeake Bay. That was my first job and I was the weather girl. How about that for an interesting title for a professional woman the weather girl.

Speaker 1:

So there's a great story that goes along that and I would love for you to share that with the listeners about how you unexpectedly ventured into meteorology.

Speaker 2:

let's say that's very loose, john, meteorology. You're making me sound a lot better. Well, when I got to WBOC, the news director, whose name was Bill Jones, said to me I know we've hired you to be a reporter, but we'd like you to do the weather. For a while I thought I don't know anything about the weather. He said that's okay, the sports guy will teach you. Sure enough, marty Thorson, the sports guy, became my coach. We met in the newsroom. He pointed to a map and he said listen, brush up on your geography and learn the names of the local towns and the weather wires over there. So just rip and read. I thought rip and read. On Monday, john Marty started coaching me and Eric quotes coaching me, and by Friday I was the weather girl. Wow, terrified, and I was traumatized and I was terrible, of course. Then the letters started coming.

Speaker 2:

What's with the hair? You make me seasick every time I see. What's with all those waves? You need a haircut. Get a new jacket. I had one. I wasn't making very much money. In fact, I took a decrease in pay from college admissions to get into TV and I had one blazer that I wore all the time. Somebody said you need to find another blazer, I thought well then, find me a raise buddy, because I'm not going to wear anything else until I can get more money. But that was a great experience for me.

Speaker 2:

And that's where I learned, and I hope this is a value to your listeners. That's where I learned the power of practice, because I knew, even though I was making a lot of mistakes on the air, I knew I would get better and more confident with practice. That worked for me and it does for everybody, don't you think? Everybody? No one is good at anything without a lot of practice.

Speaker 1:

Oh, absolutely right. I have a coach of mine in another area and he always says he says, you know, practice doesn't make perfect.

Speaker 2:

No practice makes progress.

Speaker 1:

Yes, absolutely Right, and so it's one of those things where, when we think about how our career progresses and the opportunities we take right, we aren't good at everything right we learn and we grow and we figure out exactly how we want to show up in those kind of things. And, tracy, one of the reasons why your story was particularly fascinating to me and it's something we talked about in the pre-interview but, as a news reporter, you are experts at telling the story, and one of the things that my clients and my listeners often struggle with is they have difficulty being concise, especially when it comes to an interview. They're asked to share maybe something about a particular accomplishment, or when they encounter a struggle, and oftentimes, as we all have, we have this tendency to ramble. What advice would you have for them for keeping an answer between 90 seconds and two minutes?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, thank you. Well, number one practice what you're going to say. Then you'll be able to hear those words, to lose fillers, hedges, disclaimers that we use all the time and don't think about because we don't record ourselves. Practice, record and then practice what I call three sentences in a period. Three sentences in a period you can say a lot in three sentences. And I also encourage people to have notes.

Speaker 2:

If you're going into an interview, have notes with you. As my mother says, without notes we wander. I always get nervous when I'm watching the Academy Awards and somebody gets up there without notes. I think, oh my gosh, they're going to play the music and that person's still going to be talking. Don't be afraid to take those notes with you and you could say, if it's an in-person interview, or even if it's virtual, to say I brought my notes so I can stay on task or I can stay on track, and that way people will know okay, this person is serious. And I would say you don't need to start with the beginning of time. Hit the highlights. What is it about that project that you worked on that was impactful? What is it about that team that you led that made the difference? What sets you apart? Name one or two items that set you apart. You'll have a whole interview for people to learn more about you.

Speaker 1:

In your television career? How hard was it for you to learn to keep a story to 19? How hard was it to keep a story to 90 seconds?

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, john. I would come back to the news, to the television station, after working on a story all day and I'd say to the producer this story is fantastic, you should hear the interviews, give me two minutes. And she would say Betsy Harmets was one of my producers. She said Tracy, it sounds great, you get a minute and a half. I said, no, really, this is the lead. Give me two minutes, tracy, you get a minute and a half. And I had to learn to hone it down. Hone it down. And, john, that was when people had longer attention spans than they do now. Think about how many distractions if you're in an interview. Think about how many distractions that person who's interviewing you has. They're getting pings, notifications. They have another interview after you. They're checking their texts. They're looking at their emails. There might be music in the background. They might be thinking about what they have to fix for dinner tonight, picking up the kids. People are on overload. Do them a favor and be brief.

Speaker 1:

That is such great advice. And to piggyback on that, when we get to pause you know to your point about three sentences in a period we allow opportunities for dialogue. We allow that interviewer to have that follow-up, that question that they're curious about, they want to know a little bit more about, to have a dialogue with you during the interview.

Speaker 2:

Right. We need to give people time to process what we've said to your point. When you pause three sentences in a period, when you stop, then you give the interviewer a chance to digest what you've said and perhaps come back with a question. If you're in a situation where the interviewer asks you a question and you're not clear about it, feel comfortable to say could you ask could you say that again for me please? Or could you clarify that for me please? I want to make sure I get it right. That's the opportunity to use I statements. I talk about that all the time in all of my work, using those I statements. Could you provide some clarity? Could you say that again please? Could you go back to the second point please? Now you're asking for what you need without making other people feel defensive that perhaps they weren't clear in their question.

Speaker 1:

We're going to get to all of that. We're going to get to all of that. I got to go back for one little second here. So what ended up happening in your career journey that you left TV news to go where you are now?

Speaker 2:

Well, I knew I didn't want to chase fire engines the rest of my life. I knew I didn't want to stand outside of a courtroom for the rest of my life waiting for the verdict. I loved the career. I worked with fantastic, ambitious, creative people and I wanted a family. And that was a hard thing to juggle. So when my husband, henry, and I started having our children, I continued to do video work produce, write, host corporate videos but it was a different pace than TV news. And then I continued with voiceover work while the girls were young. And then we moved to the Northwest in 2000. And I continued to do voiceover work.

Speaker 2:

But I had some friends several years after that who had started a women's leadership program in Portland. They had had people interview and apply from all over the country. They selected six young women right out of college to move to Portland, live together in community, have a paid internship and then on Fridays they would do volunteer work. And they said these friends said to me Tracy, would you host an etiquette evening for these young women? And I said absolutely anything to promote civility in our world. And when these young women came to my house I thought I would go over. How do you introduce yourself and how do you introduce someone else, and how do you start a conversation and keep it going, and what I considered to be essential but fundamental skills for communicating. And these young women looked at me like they'd never heard this before and I thought, hmm. So I said to them would you like to get a group of your friends together and we'll have a workshop and practice these skills?

Speaker 2:

And 30 days later, I had 30 young people in my living room and I looked around and I didn't know them, of course, and I said does anybody know why you're here tonight? And one person raised their hand and said I heard, this is a crash course in becoming a grown up, and that's. I thought there is a business in this, that people need to learn these skills to elevate their own professional presence, to communicate more clearly and to connect with people. And that's how it started with young women. And then, of course, I thought I can't. I have to make this available to everybody. Everybody needs these skills. And now I work, of course, with big corporations and large teams and individuals as well.

Speaker 1:

What you do is so needed, and it's those things where, as I was reading your book, it's things that we can't take for granted. We need to be explicit about these things, and you do such a beautiful and eloquent job of explaining these things In your book the new hello what to say, what to do in the new world of work. And your book is part of a very exclusive club because it is one of the few books I have read cover to cover on a flight across country. So I mean, I could not put it down. And one of the things I would love for you to touch on today is this whole idea about the words to use and the words to lose. Share a little bit about that with me. Oh, I would love it.

Speaker 2:

Well, some people wake up in the morning and come up with their to-do lists. I wake up in the morning and add to or create new words to lose and words to use lists. We all know them. The likely suspects are the filler words, like you know, sort of. These are words that we don't think about. I just used one and they really can. They take up a lot of space in our conversation and these words do not help you be conscious of three sentences in a period. But here's a filler word you might not be aware of.

Speaker 2:

Many people aren't stuff. How often have you heard people say I know my stuff, I'm really good at my stuff. We have a lot of stuff to cover today. Verse and stuff is what's in your junk drawer in the kitchen. Stuff is in your closet that you haven't worn from the waist down because you've been wearing gym shorts or yoga pants for two years and you're not wearing it anymore. What if you could be more specific and say I know the data, I know my industry, as opposed to stuff?

Speaker 2:

Another filler word is thing. You know, if it weren't a thing, what would it be? We often say the thing is well. What are we really trying to say the goal is the idea is, the challenge is the takeaway is the more specific you can be with your language, the more confident you will feel and other people will have more confidence in you. You'll be clearer. Then we move on to hedges. Hedges are those small sneaky add-on words that we use to sound less aggressive, less domineering, less pushy, and one of the top hedges is the word just have you heard people use that? I mean we use it, oh yes.

Speaker 2:

How have you heard it used?

Speaker 1:

I just need a minute of your time.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yeah, I just have a quick question. I just want to say really fast, as if we're so nervous about being interrupted that we cram a lot of words together and then throw in those hedges. I was, my husband and I used to live down the street from our gym and I would typically work out in the morning and, of course, in the winter it's dark. And I was coming home one day. I was getting ready to cross the street, or actually I didn't. I did cross the street and when I got to the other side I heard this person say hello, hello. And I turned around and this guy said you know, it's really dark and you're all dressed in black. You should get one of those reflector vests. And I said thank you very much, I'll do that. And then he said, just saying and I thought whoa, just saying that man could have saved my life because every day after that at Donner Dusk I wear a reflector vest.

Speaker 2:

We don't need to justify what we're saying, just want to ask a quick question. I'm just wondering. No, and my first suggestion to your listeners is to practice the power of pause. We talked about that three sentences in a period, in pause. But think about it instead of saying I just have a quick question, saying I have a question, I'm just checking back, or I'm checking back to see if you had a chance to review the proposal or my resume. That's the power of pause.

Speaker 2:

Take your time before you use those words. Sort of kind of a little bit almost. I guess these are all hedges. Here's another hedge pretty, I'm pretty organized, I'm pretty creative, I'm a pretty good negotiator, I'm pretty good at marketing. Why do we need to say that no, pause, Pause. I'm a good negotiator, I'm organized, I'm prepared for this presentation. It's powerful, john. I just love it. And I recommend to people pick one word every 30 days that you want to lose and lose that word. And then, if there's a word you want to use and we'll talk about words to use give yourself 30 days to use that word. Psychologists tell us it takes 30 days to break a bad habit or to build a new one. Be kind to yourself and you have 12 months in a year. Think of all the words you could lose and use in 12 months 12. How?

Speaker 1:

awesome is that? Absolutely, and one of the great things about it and this was coming up for me so much as I was reading the book was that when I'm coaching my clients on their upcoming interview, there's such a difference between an experiential question and an opinion question, and a lot of times when we're doing interview coaching and I'll say something to them, such as tell me about a time when you encountered a challenge on a particular project and what you learned from that, and they'll start off with well, I think there was this time when and I'll stop them and I'll go were you not living this, were you a bystander in this? You talk about this too, like the differences between think and know, and how just the difference in those two words truly sets the change and the tone for how you are communicating in your response. Oh, yes, thank you for that.

Speaker 2:

I love that. I may steal that from you and use it in one of my presentations. Sure, I was working with a woman in the tech industry. She'd had quite a successful career 15 years with the same company, had moved up steadily. And during the course of our conversation she said you know, I know my stuff and I'm pretty good at what I do, but lately we've been hiring a lot of young talent and I just feel like I'm not being taken seriously, like people don't know how capable I am, and it's sort of rattling my confidence a little. You know what I mean.

Speaker 2:

I said to her do you have a sticky note? She said yeah. I said great, I want you to take that sticky note and I want you to write these four phrases down you ready, from my perspective, what I know, what I know after 15 years in the tech industry, in education, in marketing, whatever is your field, our data shows People typically can't argue with the data and I recommend think about that if you're interviewing. I recommended that we go with this project and it was a good decision because I said now take that sticky note and put it to the upper corner of your laptop and every time you're on a phone call, on a Zoom call, in person, when you're sending an email, look at those words to use. About a month later she called me back and she said Tracy, this is crazy. She said, in two weeks people started treating me differently. It was as if I had more credibility and influence. I said to her you always have, but now your words match your capabilities. Words have power.

Speaker 1:

What are some of the words people need to be using?

Speaker 2:

Oh, yes, okay, well, let's talk about. Let's talk about disclaimers, and then we'll lead into words to use. Disclaimers are words that we use. We wanna sound humble or modest, but they don't make us sound confident. Here's a disclaimer Correct me if I'm wrong.

Speaker 2:

You've been doing this a lot longer. What do I know? Or I could be way off base. Or jumping if you think I'm missing something, or this is just my two cents. All of these words to lose don't make us sound confident. Instead of saying correct me if I'm wrong, you could say let me know if I heard this correctly. Words to lose You've been doing this a lot longer Words to use in my experience. Words to lose what do I know? Or here's my perspective. This is another one Jump in if you think I'm missing something.

Speaker 2:

Why would we ask someone to jump in and assume there's something missing? Instead, we could say I'd like to hear your thoughts after I finish giving my presentation. Or here's what I'm thinking Tell me what you think so far. Now you're inviting people to participate if they want to, or feel free to add any additional details, but now you're in the driver's seat. You're instead of you're saying jump in if you think I'm missing something Offer. We say I could be overthinking this. Well, in my view, everyone's brain processes information differently. The words to use would be let's dig deeper Words to lose. This is just my two cents, or what? If we try this? It's really fun to be able to look at the words to use Again. One phrase a month. If your word is what do I know? If that's your weak phrase, what do I know? Then you could change it to. From my perspective, in my experience, what I know after 10 years in the industry Words to lose, words to use.

Speaker 1:

Why do people tend to use disclaimers?

Speaker 2:

Hmm, because, well, there are three reasons for all of these words to lose. It's a habit. If we don't get feedback about the way we speak, we keep doing it. It feels comfortable, it's safe, it's easy. Number two it can be cultural.

Speaker 2:

What we hear in our culture we tend to imitate. We wanna belong, we wanna fit in, we don't wanna stand out too much. And it's interesting because in a job interview you do wanna stand out, but on the other hand, people think, well, I don't wanna rock the boat, I wanna come on too aggressively. And the third reason, john and this took me by surprise that we choose the words we do is fear. And I learned this from I have a voice coach who I've worked with for a long time because I do a lot of public speaking and, by the way, I believe we're all public speakers In some form or another. We speak publicly for a living, whether it's colleague to colleague, to a client, a prospect, Anyway, I think it's important for people to know we're all public speakers.

Speaker 2:

But my voice coach, linda Brice, said that our biggest fear is that we will be shamed, humiliated or banished from the crowd if we speak up, and so we freeze and we literally stop breathing and while we stand there madly trying to gather our ideas, we use various words to lose, to mask our anxiety Fillers, hedges, disclaimers. Disclaimers like this may sound like a crazy idea. That's why we do that, and I find that to be, I'm, comforting in that it comes from a place. It either comes from a culture. Maybe in your culture growing up, you were told to apologize all the time, or you were told not to brag, not to promote yourself. Well, that doesn't help you in business or in life, but it's part of the culture and once you have an awareness of it, then you can move to words to use.

Speaker 1:

Is there anything else in those words to use that you wanted to talk about? That we haven't done?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'll talk briefly about validators, and these are words that we use to try to get buy-in from the audience or from the other person and say is that okay? Do you know what I mean? Do you see what I'm saying? Am I making sense? And instead of using those words now, context is key sometimes, if what you're talking about is complicated, you may want to say does that make sense? But it is stronger the words to use instead are do you have any questions?

Speaker 2:

Instead of saying, am I being clear? You've explained this big project you worked on to the interviewer or the hiring manager, and then you say am I being clear? Or you could say words to use. Do I need to clarify anything? Let me know if I can clarify something for you. Now, that's stronger. You're not assuming that there's something that needs to be clarified. You're offering them the chance to. And then, of course, john, if we can encourage everybody to switch from I'm sorry to thank you Instead of saying sorry for the noise if you're on a Zoom call. Thank you for understanding. It's my neighbor's leaf blower. Sorry, I don't have a video today. Thank you for understanding my Wi-Fi challenges today. The tech person is on their way, so people leave their voicemail message. Sorry, I'm not here to take your call. Switch that up. Thank you for calling. Please leave a message and I'll call you back.

Speaker 1:

Well, you've just made me realize I need to go back and take a look at my voicemail message and I am going to be a little more aware and work diligently and getting rid of that. Does that make sense phrase that is sometimes a default for me that I definitely want to and will work on getting rid of.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, good, let that be the one phrase to lose for the month, for 30 days.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely so, Tracy. What is the confidence project?

Speaker 2:

Oh. The confidence project is a way for me to teach people specific skills that they can use in every area of their life and, as a result, people connect with people better, they have a chance to express themselves with clarity and they get along better. That's really I say to people often. I give you the chance or the permission to feel good about yourself and not apologize for it. And it's practicing skills every day, important, essential skills that you can use in every area of your life, individually and as a leader, with your teams and in your families, with your friends. It's the Equal Opportunity Project. John, it doesn't matter where you come from or what your zip code is, or what your job title is or has been, or how old you are. These are skills that everybody can learn, and once you learn them, it's like building a muscle and then that they become second nature and that lowers your anxiety, so that you know in any situation you can step into it with confidence.

Speaker 1:

Fantastic, love that. So, tracy, as we start wrapping up here, what advice would you give for someone to help them build their mid-career GPS?

Speaker 2:

I have three quick bullet points here. Number one I would encourage people to embrace practice. Practice makes permanent, practice makes progress. It's not about being perfect.

Speaker 2:

It never occurred to me in my youth that I could practice an interview with another person, like your clients do with you. That is a really important gift. We can't hear ourselves, we don't know what we're saying, we don't know what we're doing with our hands, we don't know the facial expressions. If you can record yourself, if you can have a practice interview with someone like you or a colleague or a friend, I would encourage that. Practice is key. I would encourage everyone to find a personal board of advisors people who care about you, who have your best interest at heart and will give you honest feedback and connect you with other people. That's a beautiful opportunity. You're not really asking anything. You're not asking for a job of them, but you're asking for their advice, their support, perhaps an introduction. So, personal board of advisors. And then I would encourage people to trust your instincts.

Speaker 2:

If a job doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. As Oprah Winfrey said once, doubt means don't, and whether it's somebody you're going out on a date with or a potential boss or a job, if it doesn't feel right. It probably isn't, and often we lose sight of how important our instincts are. Your listeners, your clients, have skills and success. I always tell people don't just talk about your experience. Willie Lohman death of a salesman. Willie Lohman had a lot of experience but he was terrible at sales. Talk about your success and trust the fact that if this job that you're looking for or looking at at this moment isn't right, there's another one out there. As I always say, this job or something better.

Speaker 1:

Oh, I like that, I like that a lot.

Speaker 2:

Nice.

Speaker 1:

I am sure people are going to want to find more about you, learn more about you. Find you wherever and whenever, so I'm going to turn the mic over to you and please share with us how people can connect with you. Your books, anything you want. You have the mic.

Speaker 2:

Great, thank you. Well, you can go to our website, which is confidenceprojectcom. I'm also on LinkedIn under Tracy Hopper H-O-O-P-E-R, and Instagram, the confidence underscore project, and you can also go on Amazon and I have just published a new book. Now, john, is this the book you have? The Now? Hello, no.

Speaker 1:

I have the New.

Speaker 2:

Hello, the New Hello. Okay, I'm going to send you the Now Hello, john. Oh, thank you. The Now Hello was just published last week and I wrote the New Hello in response to the pandemic, of course. How do we meet and greet each other in the world of work? The Now Hello is what's the confidence playbook now, now that we are going back into the office at least in some way, two or three days a week, how do we stay connected to teams if we are fully remote? What is the confidence playbook now? And you can get either one of the books on Amazon and I would like to offer, if I could, a gift to your listeners. May I do that.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much. Every month I produce a short video on a confidence skill technique idea, and it's complimentary. You can go to confidenceprojectcom, my website, and at the bottom of every page you can have an opportunity to sign up for the video news series. And I've been oh wow, I guess I've been making videos in this capacity for at least three or four years, so there's lots of rich content. And then in the new book, the Now Hello, I have 58 pro tips and I have recorded 24 of them about one minute long and they're also on the website. I'm releasing one pro tip every month from now until the end of October, so that's another way that you can get a full dose of the confidence project.

Speaker 1:

Well, I will make sure all of that is in the show notes and it is out there for people to see as we promote this conversation. Tracy Hopper, thank you so very much for spending some time and sharing your knowledge and expertise with us in such a clear and concise manner that I know is going to benefit a lot of people. I am so honored and grateful. We connected, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I am very grateful for the opportunity, John. You're a delight and a gift to your clients. I wish you and all of them very best.

Speaker 1:

I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Tracy Hopper from the Confidence Project. Make sure to check the show notes for all of the links from today's episode and visit johnnarrellcom for more details. You may have noticed that this episode wasn't heavily edited. It didn't seem right to chop up this episode because everything just flowed so easily and I wanted you to hear our entire conversation as you go into your next interview. It is essential that you build a relationship, build that rapport, with the hiring manager and the people with whom you are interviewing. It is one of the things we will continue to talk about this month on this special series. I'm bringing you all around helping you prepare for your next interview Now.

Speaker 1:

I'll be back with you next week to talk about interviewing, mistakes and pet peeves and what you can do to avoid them. But until then, remember this you will build your mid-career GPS one mile or one step at a time and how you show up matters. Make it a great rest of your day. Thank you for listening to the Mid-Career GPS Podcast. Make sure to follow on your favorite listening platform and, if you have a moment, I'd love to hear your comments on Apple Podcast. Visit johnnarrowcom for more information about how I can help you build your mid-career GPS, or how I can help you and your organization with your next workshop or public speaking event. And don't forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and follow me on social at John Narrow Coaching. I look forward to being back with you next week. Until then, take care and remember how we show up matters.

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